Mollie Hemingway Wants You To Know Christine Blasey Ford Was A Big Slutty Drunkerson
Mollie Hemingway appeared on Laura Ingraham's show yesterday and they had a "Horrible Human Being" contest. As usual on Ingraham's program, everyone was a winner! Hemingway, senior editor for The Federalist, is shilling her new book about Brett Kavanaugh's contentious confirmation to the Supreme Court. It's called "Justice on Trial" (no link) because conservatives like to depict the Federalist Society poster child as an innocent victim of a frenzied liberal mob, the conservative version of Tom Robinson.
The "villain" in their realty is Christine Blasey Ford, who accused Kavanaugh of attempted sexual assault. Her testimony was moving and credible. It was also completely ignored. Susan Collins gave a speech and everything. Why are conservatives such sore winners?
Last night, Hemingway revealed new "inside info" that blows the whole Kavanaugh case wide open. It doesn't matter that there is no Kavanaugh case anymore; he is a Supreme Court Justice, and Ford is still in hiding from right-wing nut jobs who want to kill her. Yeah, no one suffered more from all of this than Kavanaugh, who was at most mildly inconvenienced for a few weeks before receiving his dream job, for life.
According to Hemingway and her co-author Carrie Severino's top-notch journalism, Ford scrubbed her social media history before going public. Her Instagram and Facebook accounts apparently would've proven she was a radical leftist commie who was part of a carefully orchestrated plot to destroy America's favorite carpool dad. Ford received death threats after accusing Kavanaugh, but Hemingway and Severino can't conceive of any benign motivation behind Ford taking this precaution.
Ingraham said Ford went to "great lengths to cover her tracks before lobbing her false accusations." Ingraham is supposedly a lawyer. Yes, legally, Kavanaugh is "innocent until proven guilty," but that also means Ford isn't "guilty" of lying to the Senate under oath (a crime). The lower-third text even calls Ford's accusations "bogus." We guess it's not defamation because it's Fox. That's also the network's tag line.
Hemingway claims the Washington Post depicted Ford as "apolitical" and a "veritable saint." (We must've missed the Post's "Flying Nun" profile of Ford.) However, she and Severino spoke with Ford's "friends" who dispute that flattering account. We question whether actual "friends" would talk trash about Ford to right-wing creeps putting together a hatchet job. Hemingway agreed with Ingraham's description of the "true" Ford as "anti-Trump" and "liberal." Who isn't anti-Trump? His approval rating is the Fox News viewership. This would never make it into a courtroom because sharing the views of half the country doesn't make you a sociopath who'd perjure yourself to keep a partisan hack off the Supreme Court. Must we mention again that Ford's life was turned upside down? Even the people who wear "Resistance" t-shirts would avoid all that and just vote against Trump next year. What other completely irrelevant information about Ford did these "friends" share with Hemingway and Severino?
HEMINGWAY: [Ford was] a heavy drinker who was much more aggressive with boys than we were led to believe. Not only was she not asked about that, but you do not see media coverage of it.
The media didn't pursue the "Christine Blasey Ford Was A Boozy Slut" story because it wasn't a rape trial from fucking 1989. The victim's previous sexual conduct is immaterial. It also doesn't matter if Ford was the Dean Martin of beach week. It's like Hemingway watches episodes of "Law & Order: SVU" and roots for the rapists.
We can speculate that a young Ford enjoyed parties with beer and boys because she attended a party with beer and boys. No one claimed she was there against her will. She was fine with the party just not the attempted assault. Taking a cross-country flight does not mean we consent to terrorists hijacking the plane, even if it's a known risk. It's 2019 and Mollie Hemingway should damn well know better. Now leave Christine Blasey Ford alone. She's way out of any Federalist hack's league.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).