Bill Cosby: Always Room For Moral Scolding (While Paying The Women Their Rape Moneys)

America learned Monday night that, shocker of all shockers, when you're starting to lose count of how many women have accused Bill Cosby of drugging and raping them, there's PROBABLY a grain of truth in the story, or at least enough truth to fill a date-rape pill capsule. Looking at the unsealed case which reveals that yes, Cosby did get the rape pills so he could put them in the women, we find other goodies too! Like for instance, Cosby admits that he offered alleged victim Andrea Constand moneys, so she could go to college and learn how to read good and do other stuff good too:
Isn't he sweet? He puts the pills in the women and then Does A Cosby to them, and then when they wake up and start saying "hey fucker, you raped me," he becomes the kind, gentle father figure, ready to teach the girls some good old-fashioned responsibility. He'll give them hush-money, but only if they promise to use it for their own betterment. Of course, as the document shows, what the alleged victim wanted was for him to say "Hey, sorry I drugged and raped you," but we guess that didn't happen.
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It's such an old trope in literature and in life -- The Rapist Who Cares! Except actually, that's not caring. That's trying to cover your ass and exercise even MORE control over the victim, because remember how rape is not about sex, but about control? Yeah, that thing.
Of course, according to the very next lines of the same testimony, that's not the deal he had with all the alleged victims:
So many deals, it must be hard to keep up with! Okay, we can put this man in jail now? Is it time for us to do that yet?
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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