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BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: FIRED BABY FIRED.Bill O'Reilly has been He has FUCKED IT AND DONE IT LIVE for the very last time. Hooray!

Bill O'Reilly, paragon of moral virtue, is still on "vacation." He deserves it! His new book about "American values" is topping the bestseller lists, and also there's that thing about how a bunch of new ladies have been complaining that O'Reilly is the grossest sexual harasser since Old President Grab-Em-Pusses. (For the record, Donald Trump thinks Bill O'Reilly is a very nice boy and does not know what all the fuss is about.)

Tuesday, two different kinds of news broke about Bill O'Reilly. One is that there is a new accuser, a woman who worked around but not for O'Reilly, and he was very gross to her (al ... legedly?), leering at her with his tiny troll eyes and calling her "hot chocolate," because she is a black lady. The other news is that maybe the Murdochs have finally decided Fox News can't afford to lose its moral moorings all that ad money, and O'Reilly might get to go on "vacation" from his show FOREVER.

First up, the new accuser:

Bill O'Reilly used to leer at an African-American Fox News clerical worker and called her "hot chocolate," according to attorney Lisa Bloom, who helped the woman report the harassment to the network's hotline. [...]

"He would never talk to her, not even hello, except to grunt at her like a wild boar," Bloom tells The Hollywood Reporter. "He would leer at her. He would always do this when no one else was around and she was scared."

How nice. He wasn't even her boss, he was just some perv down the hall who would get a Viagra boner every time he happened to be on the elevator with her. Presumably if he had found a way to spend more time with this woman, he would have told her he wanted to do the "falafel thing" to her pussy.

Also, in case you have not been to "outside" in a while, and you're not sure what grunting like a wild boar sounds like, here is a compilation of Bill O'Reilly/wild boar sounds we found on the internet.

And now you know what O'Reilly (probably) sounds like in bed. It's exactly what we would have imagined.

Now, as to the hot rumors from the No Spin Zone! It turns out that, despite how O'Reilly's fans love him SO MUCH, especially when they find out he's been gropey/rapey/falafels toward women, Rupert Murdoch and his sons Biff and Frederick (we think those are their names) may be ready to fire him like a common Roger Ailes. The news broke cryptically through Matt Drudge:

IN MEMORIAM: Bill O'Reilly's career!

As to O'Reilly having a "tremendous run" and getting to "decide when and how things end," Dave Itzkoff of the New York Times reminds us of the context:

Gabriel Sherman at New York magazine, who has been covering the inner workings of all the various Fox News sexual harassment scandals for a long time now (he got the scoop on Roger Ailes being fired for being a slimy gross pig man), and is in a position to know such things, fills in the blanks for us:

Three sources with knowledge of the discussions said that, while no final decision has been made, the Murdochs are leaning toward announcing that O’Reilly will not return to the air. Sons James and Lachlan have been arguing that O’Reilly needs to go, say these sources, though their father, Rupert, has resisted that outcome.

The prospect of dumping O’Reilly — once unimaginable — has gained steam this week due in part to street protests outside Fox News headquarters and advertiser boycotts on O’Reilly’s air. One network insider said Fox executives are alarmed by the severity of the ad-revenue decline. “It’s worse than Glenn Beck,” the insider said, referring to the advertiser revolt that helped derail Beck’s Fox News career in 2011.

Sherman reports that originally James Murdoch was the one saying O'Reilly should pack up all the loofahs and dildos in his office and go home forever, whereas Lachlan Murdoch agreed with Daddy that O'Reilly was the best. But apparently now the boys are aligned against BillO and everybody is GRRRR FIGHTING, because on the one hand ratings are still great, but on the other hand, they are hemorrhaging advertising money. Also, they've got to know in the back of their minds that if all these women have already come forward, there are probably 6,432 more where that came from, ready to tell their stories about how Bill O'Reilly is a misogynistic sex creep who can't keep his rancid meat body to himself.

So that is where we are. "Hot chocolate" is the new "falafel thing," and everybody needs to say a prayer to baby Jesus tonight that the Murdochs fire O'Reilly forever, because America needs some good news in these dark days.

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[The Hollywood Reporter / New York Magazine]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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