Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.

Oh dear. Bill O'Reilly has caught the transgender wee wee bug, and he can't stop thinking about those poor, pitiful traditional families, who are just trying to raise their kids the normal way -- you know, boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, and daddy drags mommy down the stairs by her neck, in front of the kids. Regular stuff!

Know what's not traditional? Take it away, Bill:

The entire transgendered restroom issue is beyond crazy. [...]

[A]ccording to this loony newspaper [The Charlotte Observer], if you have a young daughter, you should be accepting of the fact that a transgendered boy could shower next to her after an athletic exposition. That is insane. The solution to the problem is simple and has been going on for decades, private installations for people who are transgender.

Bill is all mad about this editorial, which says everybody poops, and that all residents of North Carolina should be able to do their #2's in peace, even if caterwauling bigots are fighting a pretend strawman about how YOUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS are going to get diddled in the bathroom, in order to mask how they think trans folk are icky.

So, having framed the discussion the way he wanted to, BillO brought on Fox lady Kirsten Powers, so he could use her as his punching bag, FIGURATIVELY. O'Reilly with the leading question:

O'REILLY: So do you understand how crazy The Charlotte Observer is?

KIRSTEN POWERS: No. I don't, actually.

UGH, Bill always has to explain to his libtard guests why they are dumb. Just kidding, it's his favorite part!

O'REILLY: So you have an 11-year-old girl, all right? And she's a lacrosse or soccer player. She's in her locker room, all right? After the game or the practice. And here comes a boy who thinks, or wants to be a girl, and they're in the shower, and ... a lot of these places don't have shower stalls, it's just showers. And you say to a traditional parent, that's acceptable?

POWERS: What I would say first of all is that it's not a boy who wants to be a girl, it's a person who was born with male genitalia, who experiences life as a woman or a female.

O'Reilly says it doesn't matter, because that transgenic kid has a wiener, and HE KNOWS that 11-year-olds don't have shower stalls -- what is this, 1952? -- so the biological girls with the hoo hoos are in danger from the wiener, etc., end of story.

Powers seizes on an opportunity, because of how religious right dickweasels are pretending they're sincerely worried about their kids being preyed upon, and asks Bill if he thinks lesbians (who are actually into chicks, #GayAgendaFact) shouldn't be able to share locker rooms with other chicks. He says that's FINE, as long as they have matching Down Theres. (He probably thinks it's pretty hot too!)

So, if this isn't about predatory concerns, what the fuck is he even talking about?

O'REILLY: It's not a matter of preying, it's a matter of being appropriate.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Oh. It's probably uncouth and impolite and lacking in decorum, too. Back in his day, there was none of this gender-bending, and wives didn't complain when they got smacked around a little, ALLEGEDLY.

What's the real agenda at play here, Bill?

[It's] designed to make Americans believe there is no difference in gender at all. [...] It's what the progressives want. They wanted it from the jump.

Oh. Tricksy liberals, trying to eliminate gender by fighting for the rights of a minority whose gender identities do not match their biology. If that were the case, you'd think we'd skip this whole bathroom rigamarole and just 'splain to trans folk that gender is fake so please stop your bitching.

Anyway, Bill concludes by saying, "Americans should get REALLY angry about this!" And he's certainly angry! He finds this perverted! He KNOWS from "perverted." Hey, remember that time ...

Let's review:

NOT PERVERTED: Loofah mitt for the nipples and spectacular boobs of a lady what is not his wife, falafel thing for her pussy, oh and also maybe allegedly beating his tradtional-married wife.

SO PERVERTED AND AMERICA SHOULD BE OUTRAGED: Transgender kids being able to use facilities that correspond with their gender identity.

Got it.

[Media Matters / Crooks & Liars]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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