'Sup Boynton Beach city commissioner Marlene Ross? Oh, you are totally sure an "evil," "sinister" fellow commissioner has been threatening to extort you over the sexts you sent to your first cousin/lover? And much ofthe story is given to you breathlessly narrating in bodice-ripping Shades of Gray dialogue how you tried to hold off your first cousin/lover, etc., and it is all verbatim and weird? But all the cops who looked into it were like, "dude, lady, this does not fit 'extortion' but maybe you could talk to Lifetime?" Fun story! Fun city commission! Let us cover our computer screens from prying eyes, and blockquote, together!

In late 2010 or early 2011, Ross told prosecutors, she had sent her first cousin Rogelio Vera – via private messaging on Facebook — “compromising” photos of herself that she’d previously created.

“You had some sort of relationship?” State Attorney’s Office Detective Robert Flechaus asked Ross in a Sept. 12 interview.

“Yes,” Ross said in audio supplied to The Post.

It was in late 2010, Ross said.

“He started with the flirting,” she said. “I said, ‘Oh, c’mon. This is not right.’ He’s a first cousin. ‘This is not right. You’ve got to stop.’”

Unable to resist the hunky felon first-cousin, Ross embarked on a sexy and sexty relationship, but then the felon first cousin's wife found the pictures! And for reasons that we can just never understand, she wasn't all like "bygones"!

“She (Lillian Vera) calls me. And she’s, ‘Oh, I can’t believe you. I never thought you’d do this.’ I said, ‘Lillian. Let this go.’”

Later, she said, Lillian Vera sent her text messages, “mean, vicious stuff,’ and told her she was going to distribute the photos.

Lillian Vera would tell prosecutors this summer that her estranged husband had shown her the images once and she didn’t have copies. Neither Lillian Vera nor her divorce attorneys would comment for this story; Rogelio Vera couldn’t be reached.

MEAN VICIOUS STUFF. What kind of wife sends MEAN VICIOUS STUFF to the cousin-in-law who is fucking her husband? Get with the program, LILLIAN.

Anyway, from then on Marlene Ross lives in fear that an "evil" "corrupt" lobbyist is trying to extort her into voting his way, in code:

In comments that were cryptic to most in the chambers but which Ross believed were aimed at her, [David] Katz suggested “consequences” for voting against his close friend, former Mayor Jerry Taylor, to fill out the term of a commissioner who had resigned in July. Ross continued that night to oppose Taylor and the commission remained deadlocked, 2-2.

After interviewing Ross at least three times, prosecutors concluded that “none of the scenarios described by Ms. Ross involved behavior that could be considered criminal extortion,” Daniel Funk, assistant Palm Beach County state attorney, wrote in a memo dated Thursday.

Awfully nice city commission you have there, Marlene Ross. Shame if anything happened to it.

But is this Katz fellow corrupt and evil? Corrupt yes! Evil we can't speak to! But apparently everyone who's so much as looked at Boynton Beach on a map is stone cold gettin' investigated for corruption and pressuring everyone else and evading taxes and being a shitbag (including, oddly, Marlene Ross!). Boynton Beach is You.

[PalmBeachPost]