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Blah Blah, Sen. Mike Lee Wants Child Labor Legal Again, Blah Blah

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What a boring Friday! Why is that Loughner kid not doing anything crazy? There are so many reporters there in Tucson, ready for him to lick a bailiff. What are we supposed to talk about, each vote in that RNC election? Meh. Or that the new Utah senator says the ban on child labor is unconstitutional? Fine.

Yes, Mike Lee put this video up on YouTube last week. He was giving a lecture, just like a real professor of not understanding the Constitution. Even Antonin Scalia doesn't agree with this narrow definition of the Commerce Clause (that it more or less means nothing), Think Progress says, and the decision he cites was unanimously overturned by the Supreme Court after the Great Depression, which, coincidentally, showed commerce restrictions were sort of necessary, kind of, you know.

Not that any of this matters. The Constitution doesn't matter. The only thing the government should do is force women to carry fetuses in their bodies until they're babies and give rich people money. As the founders, of Godfathers Pizza, wanted. [Think Progress]

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Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug ... He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

Yr Wonkette is no stranger to the double-edged weapon of sarcasm, we'll admit. OR WILL WE? It's part of our postmodern toolkit, with which we seek to undermine patriotism, faith, the free market, the family, and ultimately America itself. Duh. But we would never be so naive as to think we have a monopoly on irony and sarcasm, oh no, far from it. This week, we dip into the sludge of deletia for some brilliant examples of cutting rightwing wit turned back on us, with devastating results. Hope you're not all TRIGGERED so much you have to go find a SAFE SPACE, libs!

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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