Feed the baby


Retiring Tennessee Senator Bob Corker is apparently translating at least some of his anger words about Donald Trump's Adult Daycare into action! As the chair of the very important Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Corker has called a hearing just to have a quick little chat about whether Donald Trump should be allowed to mash his meaty pussgrabby fingers into the nuclear codes, you know, like if CNN is hurting his feelings that day, or if he sees something on "Fox & Friends" that makes his anus itch. The Senate hasn't had a discussion like this since 1976, so why are they doing it now? Oh no reason.

Here's the announcement:

"A number of our members" are JUST ASKING QUESTIONS about whether we can take the nuclear football from Trump and hide it somewhere he'll never look for it, like maybe inside a book. Presumably, Corker is referring to how pretty much all Republican senators secretly hate Trump and think he's batshit, but they don't have the stones to say so publicly. Corker is willing to say so for them!

As a reminder, Corker, on top of confirming that 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is now the world's most elegant adult daycare center, devoted to caring for exactly one patient, recently said the following things about Donald Trump to the New York Times:

Senator Bob Corker … charged in an interview on Sunday that President Trump was treating his office like “a reality show,” with reckless threats toward other countries that could set the nation “on the path to World War III.”

In an extraordinary rebuke of a president of his own party, Mr. Corker said he was alarmed about a president who acts “like he’s doing ‘The Apprentice’ or something.”

“He concerns me,” Mr. Corker added. “He would have to concern anyone who cares about our nation.”

He is just saying. And now he is just doing something about it.

Obviously this is all totally normal, and Corker is doing this because it's his responsibility as a very important senator. Surely he's not convening this discussion to try to save the world from President Bonkershits.

As CNBC notes, three gentlemen will be testifying in this hearing, two of whom have been "vocal critics" about how Trump's foreign policy is full of shit:

Trump's insistence on engaging in brinkmanship with the nuclear-armed dictator has stunned many military and foreign policy professionals, who fear the president's ego could lead the country down a path to war.

Some of those professionals are scheduled to testify at Tuesday's hearing. One, Brian McKeon, is the former Acting Under Secretary for Policy at the Department of Defense under President Barack Obama, and a critic of Trump's approach to nuclear-armed North Korea. [...]

The third witness is Peter Feaver, a former director for Defense Policy and Arms Control at the National Security Council during the George W. Bush administration. In 2016, Feaver was one of nearly 50 Republican national security officials who signed a letter opposing Trump's candidacy for president. Since then, Feaver has made no secret of the fact that he views Trump as a potential threat to national security.

Smart guys! Maybe they will have some good ideas about how to shine a laser pointer to entertain Donald Trump while some grown-ups remove the nuclear football and put it somewhere safe.

Hilariously -- and disturbingly --  this announcement comes just a day or so after Trump stood on the floor of South Korea's national assembly and delivered a very important book report, sourced entirely from Wikipedia probably, about "Once upon a time there was a Korean War and it kind of sucked and now the north part of Korea is gross but the south part is nice. Obama and all the other presidents were pussies but now I have the nuclear weapons so the North better be good, OR ELSE." It was not a very good book report.

LOL this is happening in the United States of America. Please be sure to thank an "economic anxiety" white whiny baby Trump voter for all this next time you see one!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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