BREAKING GROSS NEWS About Corey Lewandowski, So There's An Evergreen Headline

National Politics
Fox News screenshot

We have two insane stories for you, both of which involve Corey Lewandowski. One of the stories also involves South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, allegedly.

One comes from Politico, a real news organization. The other comes from somewhere else, and we have no idea whether or not it's true, but we think who is saying it is extremely interesting, so we're going to share our thoughts on that.

Ready to dive in?

Let's start with the one that's not Politico, because it was published first.


Corey Lewandowski doing extramarital pants hockey with WHO ALLEGEDLY WHAAAAAAAAT?

According to the MAGA-fied American Greatness blog, batshit South Dakota GOP Governor Kristi Noem and Trumpy rage dachshund Corey Lewandowski are F-U-C-K-I-N-G. Yes, even though they are both traditional heterosexual married! Oh my (alleged) stars!

But wait, what is the American Greatness blog? Well, it appears to be fully staffed by people allied with the Claremont Institute, the nutbag think tank that serves as the center of the MAGA "intellectual" movement. From what we can tell, Claremont uses the site as its personal blowhole. Pedro Gonzalez, the blogger behind the piece we're going to look at, is a Claremont "Lincoln Fellow" for 2021. Congrats, buddy.

If you're not familiar with the Claremont Institute, this article in The Bulwark is a good starting point. It explains how American Greatness is part of what could be called the "Claremont Expanded Universe," i.e., entities that are "not formally owned and operated by Claremont but are perceived as connected."

So that's some background about who is saying the governor of South Dakota is well-acquainted with Corey's LewanDONGski.


Gonzalez writes that "multiple sources" have told the American Greatness website about all the alleged heavy petting and boning, and that it's been going on for months. He notes that Noem has been mentioned as a veep candidate for Donald Trump in 2024, and that dumb boy Donald Trump Jr. and his loud yelling girlfriend have been fundraising for Noem. He says Lewandowski has "played a key role in boosting Noem's clout with Trump."

Strangely, Gonzalez seems personally mad at Noem, while providing no actual evidence for the alleged affair. He writes many babbling paragraphs about how Noem is not MAGA enough, and you don't need to read them, but check out this sentence: "Noem has a habit of saying one thing from the saddle of a high horse and doing another." LOL Jesus Christ OK. If you read further, you get more blabbering about personal duplicity! and political hypocrisy! and venal tarnishes! and no fidelity! It is very dramatic.

Of course, he also mentions the recent story about how Noem might have done a wee spot of nepotism corruption, perhaps helping her daughter procure a real estate appraiser's license her daughter did not earn. South Dakota's attorney general is looking into that, by the way. (For the record, Noem officially denies ALL OF IT.)

Obviously we have zero way of knowing whether the affair allegations are true, and unfortunately there is nobody in this story with enough credibility that you can just say, "Oh yes, that is the side I believe." The more interesting story here, as we've been alluding to, is that this website where everybody is affiliated with the Claremont Institute — which is, again, the "intellectual" CENTER of MAGA-land — has decided to try to take down Kristi Noem. Who she piss off? Why they mad?

And are they also mad at Corey Lewandowski? We are just curious.

And now it's time for another Corey Lewandowski story! This is the one from the Politico. It's heavily sourced.


Don't pass out, but Corey Lewandowski MIIIIIIGHT have been an abusive, ass-grabbing, drink-hurling piece of shit this past weekend.

Politico reported a few minutes ago that a Trump donor named Trashelle Odom, who is also married, is accusing Lewandowski of sexually harassing and stalking her at an event that happened in Vegas this past weekend. Politico says the donor's story is backed up by four first-hand witnesses and two other sources who talked to Odom about it.

Odom was seated next to Lewandowski during the gathering, part of a four-day conference held by Victoria's Voice Foundation, a charity devoted to combating substance abuse. South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem, to whom Lewandowski serves as an informal adviser, was also among the dinner's attendees.

Wow, Noem was there? Seems unlikely Corey would do what's alleged in the following paragraphs right in front of Noem if the allegations of the affair are true, unless he's a real piece of hahahahaha we just don't know how to finish typing that sentence.

According to a statement provided by an Odom family attorney, Lewandowski allegedly remarked on the size of his genitalia, described his sexual performance and showed Odom his hotel room key. After the incident, Odom told people that Lewandowski repeatedly spoke about sex while using expletives.

Attendees also observed Lewandowski growing physical with Odom.

"Mrs. Odom stated that over the course of the dinner, Mr. Lewandowski tried to hold her hand, and she pushed his hand away. He touched her leg, and she moved it away. He grabbed her napkin off her lap and tried to touch her leg again, and she pulled her dress over her leg, to move his hand away and cover her skin," Odom's attorney wrote in the statement.

"He touched her back and she tried to get away," the statement continued. "He described an area where he was sore from a workout, on the side of his butt, but he demonstrated this by touching her there—on the upper side of her rear end. Lewandowski tried to touch her approximately 10 times, and Mrs. Odom always rebuffed him."

Odom left the room but was soon followed by Lewandowski, who remarked that she had a "nice ass," according to the statement from her attorney and another attendee who heard the comment. Lewandowski also "threw his drink at Mrs. Odom, and it landed all over her shoe and the bottom of her dress," and "called her stupid," her attorney stated.

Holy shit.

In Odom's statement, she says she was "fearful for [her] physical safety." She said she was "fearful that Corey has the power to destroy and ruin everything my husband and I have been working on in our business, personal and charitable endeavors." According to Politico, "Two of the people present for the dinner described Odom as appearing uncomfortable, and three attendees said Lewandowski appeared to be intoxicated." Sources say Lewandowski stalked Odom around the after-party, where Odom was "in tears and pleading for help." Read the whole thing, if you like feeling grossed out.

So that story came out too.


How is there not a third story? It feels like there should be a third story.

It does, doesn't it? Oh well, there's several hours left in the afternoon, there might end up being a third story.

Point is, all of this is a shitshow.

Of course, we can't leave this post without noting that time Corey allegedly cheated on his wife with Hope Hicks and the time he was "charged with battery in 2016 after yanking the arm of a reporter, Michelle Fields," as Politico puts it, even though the charges were dropped later but we all saw the video.

And now we have mentioned those things! Goodbye!

[American Greatness / Politico]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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