Donate

Cartoon villain Brian Kemp has a dream. A dream that one day all Georgians will be free of evil, government healthcare, free to die in the street from preventable diseases as Uncle Sam and White Jesus intended. And if the good people of Georgia will just elect him governor, then he'll make that dream a reality. But if they won't, he'll kick enough of them off the voter rolls that he wins anyway. It's good to be Secretary of State!

Last night in Atlanta, Kemp debated badass Democrat, civll rights lawyer, former minority leader of the Georgia House, and all-around mensch Stacey Abrams. Kemp is determined to "protect the integrity of our elections and ensure that only legal citizens cast a ballot," and if he has to disenfranchise a hundred thousand minority voters along the way, so much the better. If 70 percent of the 53,000 voter registrations purged under Georgia's "exact match" law happen to be minorities, Kemp knows it's because Democrats "did not adequately train canvassers to ensure legible, complete forms." And if, as CNN reports, Gwinnett County rejects "15% of absentee ballots submitted by Asian Americans, 11.4% of those submitted by African Americans and only 4% of those submitted by whites," then Brian Kemp knows who to blame, and it is ... Barack Obama!

That train is never late!


Yesterday Rolling Stone produced audio of Kemp worrying to a crowd of donors gathered at the Blind Pig Parlour Bar (shhh, quit laughing you snobs!) about Abrams's prodigious GOTV efforts and the worrisome trend of Democrats actually exercising their franchise.

Not long after Kemp began his remarks, the candidate expressed worry about early voting and "the literally tens of millions of dollars that they [the Abrams camp] are putting behind the get-out-the-vote effort to their base."
Kemp then asserted that much of that Abrams effort is focused on absentee ballot requests. "They have just an unprecedented number of that," he said, "which is something that continues to concern us, especially if everybody uses and exercises their right to vote — which they absolutely can — and mail those ballots in, we gotta have heavy turnout to offset that."

Luckily he's got an inside guy to make sure that ballot problem doesn't get out of hand! Also, too, the real vote suppresser is Stacy Abrams sending mean mailers to GOP ladies telling them not to vote for their Republican daddy.

Urging attendees to reach out to people to help him gain support, Kemp said, "If they email back and say, 'I'm a conservative, Republican female, and I've gotten 15 mailers talking about how bad Brian Kemp is,' that's somebody we need to talk to. [Be]cause they are doing that for a reason. They are doing that to suppress your vote."

And if you're not convinced by that unimpeachable logic, would you accept a 26-year-old video of Abrams burning Georgia's Confederate flag as a college student? No? How about a bullshit allegation that Abrams is relying on ILLEGAL VOTERS to put her over the finish line because one time she said at a rally,

But the thing of it is, the blue wave is African-American. It's white, it's Latino, it's Asian-Pacific Islander. It is disabled. It is differently-abled. It is LGBTQ. It is law enforcement. It is veterans. It is made up of those who've been told that they are not worthy of being here. It is comprised of those who are documented and undocumented.

Undocumented! She said undocumented! Lock her up!

Look, the important thing is that Brian Kemp will protect your sacred Medicaid from radical Stacey Abrams's wild-eyed socialistic proposal to accept federal funding to expand it to cover more people. And if Georgians want to vote, they shouldn't have strange names, or allow some faceless bureaucrat to make typos when transcribing their addresses. And most important of all, even if this race should come down to a recount, Brian Kemp will be right there counting the votes and making sure no illegal ballots are cast. He promised last night that he'll never recuse himself, and if he has to fight it to the end to declare himself the winner, then that's just what he'll do.


Georgia governor debate: Stacey Abrams vs. Brian Kemp - Full Video youtu.be

AMEN.

[Rolling Stone / CNN / WABE / AJC]

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Midterms are coming, Wonkers! Please fund your snark, so we can get through this all together.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

$
Donate with CC

Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

popular

Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc