If someone tries to tell your editor this is how backyards are supposed to look in the desert, then think about it for a second: Why are you living in a desert? Those aren't for people. This is a prison yard. With enough space for her to round up some illegals with a citizen's arrest and teach them what she remembers of how to jungle-ape dance. And for that baby to be whipped until it digs up a source of oil. [Trulia house listing]