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Broke-Ass Michigan Throwing All Its Money At This Fun Anti-Abortion Grift

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Big News for Prolife Budget Hawks: The Michigan state legislature, which can't afford anything anymore,did some Fiscal Responsibility the other day, appropriating $800,000 to "promote childbirth" and encourage pregnant ladies not to have no 'bortions. It won't include any money to actually help feed babbies or anything, but it will throw nearly a million dollars at "Real Alternatives, Inc.," a nonprofit that opposes not only abortion, but also birth control -- oh, and hadn't seen a single client in the first eight months of its almost million-dollar contract. That really ought to help a heck of a lot in a state with high levels of unplanned pregnancies!


Let's ask Detroit News columnist Laura Berman.

Real Alternatives is a group that does some truly important work in moving money around to prolife groups. It's a

Pennsylvania nonprofit that helps anti-abortion, mostly faith-based centers comply with separation of church and state regulations and receive government funding.

The firm seeks out Michigan pregnancy centers that oppose abortion and the use of birth control pills and that counsel women to choose adoption or birth in unplanned pregnancies. Theoretically, state dollars will pass through Real Alternatives to reimburse the Michigan centers for diapers, baby furniture and counseling services.

Or at least that's the idea, says Berman, pointing out that last year, "Real Alternatives failed to see a single client or sign up one Michigan provider during the first eight months" of its $700K contract for the year. But they did finally spend some $40,000 on actual "services" at some point, according to state reimbursement information. That must have done a lot of good, since they got another $100K for the coming year. Berman also notes that the contract is roughly equal to the total amount of money the state spends on pregnancy prevention and family planning for the same budget period.

Oh, and because it's government money that comes with that evil "Wall of Church and State" stuff, a lot of the biggest Protestant anti-abortion places aren't even applying for funding from Real Alternatives, because they'd rather pray with their clients. So the money's mostly going to a couple of Catholic anti-abortion places, which will use state funding for counseling as well as for diapers and maybe even some parenting classes. And if the money just vanishes into Real Alternatives, well at least it's better to pour money down the sewer than to give it to Planned Parenthood, right?

The expenditure probably seems like a great investment for pro-birth legislators, since it's almost guaranteed to result in more pregnancies among women who will then need public assistance, and then can be yelled at for irresponsibly having babbies they can't afford, the sluts.

[Detroit News]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He wouldn't buy this, not even for a dollar.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to www.famoushotels.org.

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.



In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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