Bryan Fischer Still Obsessed With Boy Scouts' Firm Young Buttocks
Look, Bryan Fischer, we are all getting pretty tired of the unseemly attention you have been giving toBoy Scouts and teh ghey lately. It as if this topic has turned you into some sort of tiresome one-trick...animal whose name we have forgotten at the moment. And of course, we knew that you'd go just a little more unhinged if the BSA actually ended its ban on gay scouts (but not scout leaders, because what is logical consistency anyway?)
So now the BSA has gone and actually done that thing, which Bryan Fissure cannot believe they did, because how can he lose when he's so sincere? Let's see how Bryan is Contributing To The Discourse... Oh, hey! It is a twofer! On Friday, Fischer made a bitter butthurt joke about buttsex, and then Tuesday he followed up by blaming Mormons, because although they share Fischer's rabid homophobia, maybe they also have a secret plan to bring back polygamy! That there is some logic.
You will be astonished to know that Fischer's first reaction to the news was to think about anal sex. On his Friday radio program, Fischer said he was shocked that Scouting had voted to allow gay kids to be scouts, because he was absolutely sure that everyone agreed with him. And then he said that the BSA should change its name to "Boy Sodomizers of America," ha-ha, because it is the same initials, and did you know that homos do sex in the butt? Bryan Fischer is not at all sure we have been informed of this important fact yet.
But after the weekend, Fischer came to the conclusion that since there obviously can't be a majority of people in Scouting who are so warped as to support knot-tying by buttsexxers, then maybe the Fix Is In! It must be...THE MORMONS! After all, even though the LDS church funded the effort to overturn Prop 8 in California, and even though Mormons are homophobic religioinistas just like him, they actually are not even real Christians anyway because their churches worship the Magic Sky Man the totally wrong way! And maybe those degenerates have suddenly decided they want to reinstate polygamy!
Sure, Fischer admits, maybe he has "no evidence that this is the case," and maybe the LDS church has expelled wacko polygamists from its ranks because it wants to be seen as a "legitimate religion," but really, that's just the sort of thing you'd expect from a bunch of lying polygamists who have "gone soft" on gay sex.
Bryan Fischer, please get help.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.