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Side-eye.


Well hi there and good Saturday morning to you, Wonkers! Many newses happened this week, so it's good that you're here for us to catch up together! Haha just kidding, we are not together, because WE WROTE THESE DAMN STORIES, we don't need to "catch up." That's your job. So let's do our Weekly Top Ten post, yeah?

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More side-eye.

OK, here is your weekly top ten list, chosen as usual by science:

1. Did you hear about the fancy birthday cake Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder gave his wife for her birthday? It had no lead in it, not even a little bit!

2. Look, even MORE stories of extremely stupid restaurant customers!

3. Beyoncé's Super Bowl performance featured black people, and wingnuts were OUTRAGED.

4. Did you follow along with all the so 'sciting results of the New Hampshire Primary? Not if you didn't read Wonkette's liveblog you didn't.

5. Nevada dingbat Michele Fiore took Cliven Bundy to Oregon between her giant funbags. You all heard how that turned out!

6. What should Tennessee do about kid who shot girl over a puppy? How about "day-drink"?

7. Denny's admits making black customers prepay was NO Grand Slam. Get it? Because their eggs and their other foods have that name? It's like a joke!

8. Human trash fire Sam Brownback set to gut public education in Kansas, hooray!

9. A Florida Man hurled an alligator through a Wendy's drive-thru window BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY.

10. And LOL, some of you actually watched the Saturday night GOP debate, because why not? It was an open thread! You visited it!

So there you go, Wonkers. That's your assigned reading for this weekend.

Now you have one task left, and one task only. Do you follow Wonkette on the Facebook and the Twitter? WELL DO THAT IF YOU DON'T.

OK BYE GO AWAY SO MUCH.

Love,

Wonket

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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