Butthurt Americans Made Many Butthurt Election Complaints To FCC This Year!
Oh, this adorable election season we have just been through! Americans had much to complain about! But the Huffington Post wanted to know about all the complaints we didn't hear before the election, so they filed a FOIA request with the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to see exactly what people were bellyaching about during the never-ending primaries and the never-ending general election season. You see, there are people out there, like your Aunt Doris, who get mighty angry when they see something on the TV news that bothers them, and some of them tell their friends about it, on the Obamaphone, and if they're real mad, they might cancel their subscription to NBC or write a letter to the editor, and if they're still mad after that, it's time to Lodge A Formal Complaint.
Like this lady or gentleman from Doral, Florida, whom we will name "Gus":
“CNN news kept repeating the footage of Mr. Trump saying the word ‘pussy’ many times. It was early in the day when I heard the word pussy, and all throughout the day that was all I could think about ..."
Pussy for lunch, pussy for afternoon snack, pussy while "60 Minutes" was on ... TOO MUCH PUSSY!
This person from Fort Worth, Texas, let's call him or her "Myrtle," was APPALLED at all the bad language as well, and all of it was emanating from the prickly mouth of NBC's Chuck Todd:
“I cannot have a TV on in my house anymore, even at 9 am on a Sunday because the ‘journalist’ Chuck Todd on NBC cannot stop from using vulgar terms and salacious speech, he cannot call them accusations or stay on topics like the National Debt and is so dead set on being obsessed with sexual topics, that I cannot have children in the room.”
Now, we don't recall whether Chuck Todd had a habit of saying "fuckweasel" every five minutes during his election coverage, but we think it's safe to assume from the date of the complaint (October 16, 2016) that it was also about Trump's pussy-grabbing.
But not all the complaints were during those couple of weeks! In fact, HuffPo compiled a few rants from people who were SO MAD at that nasty woman Hillary Clinton, for doing ads featuring Donald Trump saying naughties. Gross, Hillary!
“I think it’s extremely offensive to air the anti-Trump commercial (this is not a political issue), talking about blood and guts, flat-chested women, and using the word ‘fuck’ at the end of the commercial. It is aired on public TV! I have seen it on various channels, BOTH cable and regular channels. This is vile and wrong, and people (no matter what age) do not need to be exposed to such language and imagery. Thank you.”
– Tarpon Springs, Florida, May 25, 2016
Tell your president-elect, "Carol" from Tarpon Springs!
"Barney" from Ellicott City, Maryland, was further appalled, because the Hillary commercials he was seeing (remember how all her anti-Trump commercials, for better or for worse, just showed clips of him talking?) featured Donald Trump saying worse words than even a common Donald Trump would say!
“The TV ads they are running against Trump are so inappropriate and disgusting. They are worse than anything Trump may have said.”
Lots of the other complaints HuffPo features are about people getting stuck on (Trump) mailing lists, people preying on idiot (Trump) voters and telling them they've won cruises, and also too some things about robocalls. Like this one:
“I received a robo call from 941―- where after pressing 1 to speak to someone I received a male on the phone. After stating I was on the Do Not Call list he started swearing at me calling me a ‘bitch,’ a ‘snitch’ and telling me that I was ‘beat up in high school’ and that I hated Trump. When I asked to speak to his manager he said that his manager was ‘busy jacking off.’”
– Clearwater, Minnesota, April 27, 2016
WHO ON THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN MADE THAT ROBOCALL? Ted Cruz? Rudy Giuliani? One of Trump's stink-faced adult sons? KELLYANNE CONWAY DISGUISING HER VOICE TO MAKE IT LIKE A MAN'S VOICE? We are just very for curious. (Oh, and did his "manager" have little hands and was he really jacking off? RUDE.)
Click over to HuffPo for more greatest hits from the American electorate like Stephen Colbert's Audience Wouldn't Laugh At Trump THAT Hard! and The Local News Is Doing Subliminal Trump Messages To My Brain Parts! and I CAN'T FIND MY DONALD TRUMP EMAILS, HAAAALP!
Or, you know, just stay here if you trust that Wonkette already saved you time, by copy/pasting the funniest ones right here.