California GOP Candidate Keeping Jesus In A Closet In Her Home

California GOP Candidate Keeping Jesus In A Closet In Her Home
Wood Door Closet - Free photo on Pixabay

Rachel Hamm has a lot going on. For one, she is engaged in a constant battle against Satanists and witches who are always trying to murder her, while also finding time to recover her memories of the Satanic preschool she definitely attended. For another ... she's running!

Specifically, she, like many others who believe the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, is running for secretary of state. Hamm is running in California, and while she's not even the most prominent Republican running, she has managed to get endorsements from both Michael Flynn and Mike Lindell — both of whom seem pretty popular among the kinds of people who think witches are trying to murder them and that Satanic preschools are a thing.

Last week, speaking with Chris Behnke and Johnny Enlow (the QAnon prophet who announced last year that Trump is President of Heaven now), Hamm confessed to having kept noted religious leader Jesus H. Christ locked in her closet. Was it some kind of messed up Ariel Castro situation?

Hamm revealed how this factored into her decision to run for secretary of state, as her son stumbled upon Jesus in the closet one day and was handed a scroll. We don't know what the scroll actually said, but Hamm took it as a sign she should run for secretary of state. And sure, why not?

She explained:

HAMM: I've been a prophetic dreamer so I had spent a lot of 2019 and '20 having a lot of political dreams that I was in office. And because our youngest son, Ezekiel, is a seer, I went and got him and I said, 'Hey, can you look around and see what you're seeing?' Because I just really, I get a kick out of hearing him describe, you know, what he sees?

And so [I said] you know, let me know if you see anything.

And so he looked at my bedroom and my bathroom. He said, 'There's nothing there.' And then he goes into the closet – which is where I had been when I was praying – and he said, 'Whoa,' and his eyes got like, big as saucers, and he kind of like started backing away, and then started bending down and he said, 'You've got a really big guy in your closet, and his power is pushing me to the ground,' and we had never had, he'd never had that reaction ever, to an angel. And so I'm like, he's for us, not against us, right?

"He's full of light, I can't even see his face." And then he said, "he has a scroll in his hand." And so I was like, then he came with a message, what is the message and the message was a commissioning. So at the very end, I asked him what his name was. "What angel is this?" you know? And he said, "Immanuel." That wasn't an angel. It wasn't an angel! That was Jesus Himself. And so that's why I'm running for secretary of state.

So it's kind of an unconventional answer that I honestly get mocked for, by you know, by the other side of this war.

I mean, is she sure the kid didn't say Emmanuelle? How do we know that it's not the ghost of Sylvia Kristel in that closet? Either way, we certainly hope the police get wind of this and go rescue whoever is in Ms. Hamm's closet.

This is not the first time Ms. Hamm has discussed her prophecies. At a campaign stop in October, she described having a dream about evil witches trying to break into her house and murder her, only to later find out that after she prayed about this dream, one of the evil witches who lived near her mother was murdered herself.

Via Daily Kos:

“I am a prophetic dreamer. That means I see things in my dreams before they happen. God speaks to me through my dreams and shows me things.”

“I have just had a dream that someone has tried to break into my home, murder me, and light my house on fire,” Hamm said. She continued on that she was shaken by the dream and prayed it wouldn’t come true. Apparently, the day after praying for her own life to be spared, she discovered that her prayers had apparently caused a “witch” who lived near her to be murdered in her home.

“You know the witches, the self-proclaimed witches who live two doors down?’” Hamm recalled her mother saying. “‘Well, someone broke into their house, murdered her, and lit the house on fire.’ I, of course, was like, ‘Excuse me, what did you just say?’”

“The very thing that I had just dreamed that someone was trying to do to me had happened to them,” she said.

So just to recap, Ms. Hamm has someone trapped in her closet and can murder people with her prayers (or something?), and also would like to be the secretary of state of California. Sure, why not?


Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc