Can Erik Prince Get You Out Of Afghanistan? Slip $6,500 In His Thong And Find Out!

If Erik Prince, the sadistic Aryan walking daddy issue who also happens to be Betsy DeVos's little brother, is trending, it's never a good thing, at least not until the day if/when he's indicted for something. Today is not that day.

In a Wall Street Journal investigation about the frenzied efforts to evacuate people from Afghanistan, we learn that Prince is trying to jerk his little war profiteering cock into one more lather in Afghanistan, as he charges $6,500 a head to fly people out of the country on a chartered jet. Prince isn't the only private entity trying to get people out, of course. He just is the one who is charging $6,500 for the privilege:

Erik Prince, the American defense contractor, said he is offering people seats on a chartered plane out of Kabul for $6,500 per person. U.S. and NATO forces are sending special rescue teams into Taliban-controlled areas of the city to spirit their citizens into the airport. And countless Afghans who thought the U.S. would protect them after having assisted the U.S.-led coalition forces in the past two decades are now realizing that they will most likely be left behind, to face Taliban wrath alone.

Private rescue efforts are facing growing obstacles this week, just as the urgency grows. Chartered planes are flying out of Kabul with hundreds of empty seats. New Taliban checkpoints on the road to Pakistan have made driving out of the country increasingly risky. Confusing bureaucratic hurdles have prevented countless people from leaving Afghanistan.

As the Wall Street Journal explains, the efforts are even more urgent now that President Joe Biden has announced that he's sticking with the August 31 deadline to get all the way out, for better or for worse. The paper adds that evacuation flights are really probably going to end by Friday, which is two days from now, "to give U.S. troops time to remove their own equipment from the airport and leave safely."

"There is no way with the numbers of people on the ground that we will be able to get everybody out by Aug. 31," said Alex Plitsas, a U.S. Army combat veteran working on rescue operations in Afghanistan.

But back to Prince:

Mr. Prince, whose Blackwater guards were convicted of killing civilians in 2014 while providing security for Americans during the Iraq war, said he was charging each passenger $6,500 to get them safely into the airport and on a plane, and it would cost extra to get people who have been trapped in their homes to the airport.

We like how the Wall Street Journal reminds us that Prince is well-known for overseeing mercenaries who murder civilians. It's important context.

Anyway, so it's $6,500 to get people onto the plane, and extra if Prince has to get his delicate white paws any dirtier than that, we guess. Cherry on top:

It remained unclear whether Mr. Prince had the wherewithal to carry out his plans.

Of course.

The Journal, pivoting away from the gross paragraphs about Erik Prince, notes that most people working to evacuate folks from Afghanistan are doing so because they want to, for humanitarian reasons, because they really want to protect people from the Taliban. So many activists and organizations are working on it. The Clinton Foundation is working on it. And it's really, really hard, and time is really, really short.

And Erik Prince is over here demanding people write $6,500 checks for services his own ass may not be able to cash. Typical.

Regardless of how poorly the end of the two-decade-long Afghanistan fuck-for-all is going (some Wonkettes are more optimistic, some less), it's super-clear that the reason many Very Responsible People oppose its end is because the cash spigot of war profiteering is turning off. Prince is just one of the grossest and most obvious of them.

While Donald Trump was waddling about the White House, Prince grifted hard from the very beginning to see how he could use the most corrupt administration in world history to his advantage. In 2017, Steve Bannon brought Prince to then-Defense Secretary Jim Mattis, so Prince could propose a fun little deal where, if his op-ed that year in the Wall Street Journal was any indication, the Afghan government would be overthrown and the US military would mostly leave, and the country would basically be given to, um, well, to Erik Prince, for fun and profit, but mostly for profit, and also fun.

It remained unclear whether Mr. Prince had the wherewithal to carry out his plans hahahaha do you see what Wonkette just did there?

Anyway, it didn't happen. But he really fucked that chicken hard, telling anybody he could about his desire to "viceroy" the war in Afghanistan for himself. For a while there, some were worried Donald Trump was actually stupid enough to go for Prince's plan.

And now the war is ending. When you consider how many of Erik Prince's wet Aryan dreams of Afghan domination and white colonialism are going poof right now, does it seem that unfair after all that he might ask for $6,500 a head to MAYBE PERHAPS shuttle a few people out of the country?

Gotta grift SOMETHING on your way out the door. You know, allegedly.

[Wall Street Journal]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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