This is the face Dan Scavino makes when he hides from subpoenas, allegedly.

SHOCKER. Of all the Trumpworld morons on the original subpoena list from the House 1/6 Select Committee, one is reportedly hiding under his bed from the subpoena delivery man. All four are reportedly just going to ignore their subpoenas anyway, because Donald Trump told them to, and because they think/hope the rules don't really apply to them.

Steve Bannon and Kash Patel are supposed to be appearing for testimony October 14, and Mark Meadows and Dan Scavino are supposed to show up the day after. Of course they're also supposed to be submitting documents. But where Scavino, who was Donald Trump's deputy chief of staff, is concerned, CNN reports that the House committee has been physically unable to serve his pasty face. He is probably doing some very athletic evasive moves to hide from the subpoena, like a cat!

Kash Patel has his subpoena. CNN says it "appears" Bannon and Meadows have gotten their subpoenas.

But no matter, because the Guardian is also reporting this morning that all four a-holes are going to just ignore the subpoenas anyway, because according to a source, that's what their god king Donald Trump is going to hereby order them to do.


The select committee had issued the subpoenas under the threat of criminal prosecution in the event of non-compliance, warning that the penalty for defying a congressional subpoena would be far graver under the Biden administration than during the Trump presidency.

But increasingly concerned with the far-reaching nature of the 6 January investigation, Trump and his legal team, led by the ex-Trump campaign lawyer Justin Clark [and] former deputy White House counsel Patrick Philbin, are moving to instruct the attorneys for the subpoenaed aides to defy the orders.

CNN says it's not that any of these idiots have any sort of coherent legal strategy, beyond loudly stomping their feet and saying they don't wanna. Isn't that a plan, in and of itself?

Trump and those in his orbit who are likely considered to be witnesses in the committee's probe have offered little indication they have coalesced around a broader legal strategy — whether that be some combination of the former president invoking executive privilege, resisting the subpoenas in an effort to run out the clock or pleading the 5th.

While Trump threatened more than a month ago to invoke executive privilege to block the committee's earlier request for records, several people close to the former president have told CNN in recent days that they are not aware of a legal strategy taking shape since then.

But the Guardian's source says they HAVE TOO found a legal strategy, and it is "executive privilege" and also the other things CNN mentioned, basically. As Wonkette explained recently, executive privilege is perhaps a stronger argument for Scavino and Meadows, who were actually working with Trump in the White House on and around January 6, than it is for Bannon and Patel. That said:

Philbin appears less convinced than Trump about the strength of the legal argument, the source said, in part because the justice department previously declined to assert the protection for 6 January testimony, suggesting it did not exist to protect Trump's personal interests.

The source says it's less about "strong argument," and more about dragging this all out as long as possible. Hell, they are probably hoping they can drag it out until the midterms and hoping the Republicans take back the House, and if both of those things happen, then there won't be no more so-called "investigation" into the literal actual terrorist attack Donald Trump incited against the United States Capitol.

We say put the motherfuckers in jail, all of them, hold them in criminal contempt. Rep. Bennie Thompson, who chairs the committee, has said, "For those who don't agree to come in voluntarily, we'll do criminal referrals." The Guardian says folks on the committee "have expressed quiet optimism at least about the potential prosecution of witnesses who might defy subpoenas." And GOP Rep. Adam Kinzinger told CNN they're "going to do everything in our power to get them to testify."

Hope they're serious. They kinda sound like it, but we guess we'll just have to see.

[CNN / Guardian]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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