Candace Owens Has Seen Real Racism And It's Ayanna Pressley & Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Candace Owens is the most embarrassing black woman alive. She's also desperate for attention. She saw an opportunity to scare up some this week when Rep. Ayanna Pressley snatched the wig off Kellyanne Conway and made her eat it.
Nothing sums up whatever it is Conway's paid to do better than "distraction." It's her entire job description. She distracts from serious inquiries about the Trump administration's latest foul deed with circuitious doublespeak and outright lies. Accusing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of having a "cat fight" with new women representatives is deliberating trading on sexist tropes to distract people from Trump's concentration camps. Pressley wasn't here for it. We love Pressley, but we actually like black people who are fierce and clever. Owens is neither. She called Pressley's tweet "ghetto, stupid and racist." When she reflexively dismisses black vernacular as "street talk," she sounds a lot like Laura Ingraham, who called LeBron James "barely intelligible." This is fitting because Owens likely fashions herself as a younger, dumber Ingraham.
Owens tweeted that Congress is "not a gang block," and "trashy, thug-like" behavior should be "shut down." She's probably genuinely self-loathing enough to think that "speaking black" in public makes us look bad in front of white people. She's too far gone to recognize the double standard. Donald Trump is praised for "connecting" with the "common man," and he's as articulate as a drunk at last call. He also routinely drags people on Twitter, most recently former House Speaker Paul Ryan.
Not this shit again! Conservatives are desperate to make "Becky" a racial slur. Yes, minorities have all the good ones, but it's not a contest we're thrilled to have won. Besides, not a single person has had their resume thrown in the trash because their name is "Becky." "Shaniqua" is actually a beautiful name. It means "God is gracious." Racists are the ones who hear "Shaniqua" and think of a Martin Lawrence character from the '90s. Candace Owens hates herself. If she hasn't already, she's going to carve a double "A" in her chest like a common, tap-dancing Arthur Dimmesdale.
The entire conservative world view is rooted in this perverted notion that liberals and minorities get away with behavior that well-behaving, mild-mannered white people don't. Trump supporters don't just see their guy as the white nationalist answer to their fear a black president. The same people who believe Obama "divided the nation" won't concede any bigotry on Trump's part. Somehow Ayanna Pressley and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are "racist pieces of shit," but this person isn't:
Owens doesn't even extend to Pressley and AOC the same anti-racist privileges that conservatives enjoy. We're reminded that Ingraham has an adopted Guatemalan daughter, so she can't be racist even if there's plenty of historical evidence that argues this is perfectly consistent with white supremacy. However, Ocasio-Cortez has a white boyfriend. They've tried to claim that Trump is next of kin to MLK because he's found black women sexually attractive. A black woman who worked for Trump stood around in the House of Representatives as the defense's star witness against the charge of racism. Pressley has to have hired a white person at some point. Her office can't look like Barbershop 2 or the Secret Service would've shut that shit down.
It shouldn't surprise anyone that we disagree with Candace Owens, but for the record, we reject the idea going around that Democrats, especially women of color, must remain on their best behavior like they're in Sunday school class. Republicans have very public disagreements with their leadership, and it arguably raised the profiles of people like Ted Cruz, who despite his worst antics still won re-election last year. Marco Rubio is a good little soldier, and maybe his donors give him lollipops with their giant checks, but that wasn't a formula to electoral success in the 2016 election. Justin Amash is praised for bucking the GOP for supposed moral reasons, but apparently Democratic women are supposed to stay quiet and kiss the ring. That doesn't make sense to us.
Owens claims she rejects "black victimhood," but she makes a living promoting the white conservative victimhood narrative. We just hope she's at least self-aware enough to know that not even the conservatives who consider her a useful idiot actually respect her.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).