Carly Fiorina Thinks Hillary Clinton Is A Lightweight, Unlike Carly Fiorina

Carly Fiorina Thinks Hillary Clinton Is A Lightweight, Unlike Carly Fiorina

First Lady Senator Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, Esquire, is running for president now, but not everyone is impressed. (They are all Republicans, plus, like, four Prius-driving vegans still fantasizing about drafting Elizabeth Warren.)

Like that other lady who appeared on "Morning Joe" to remind us -- again, sigh, we get it, WE GET IT -- that there is indeed another lady who might also run for president, and unlike Clinton, Carly Fiorina has actually accomplished real accomplishments. Sure, she's had a few non-successes too, but those are hardly worth mentioning, even though that's exactly what meanie pants Mika Brzezinski did anyway:

You ran for Senate and lost. You worked for John McCain, you were moved off that campaign, and he lost. You had a tenure at Hewlett-Packard that a lot of people describe as extremely rocky, destroying jobs and destroying the company’s reputation. Are you really the right person to be criticizing Hillary Clinton’s accomplishments or lack thereof?

Well, come to think of it, maybe those failures are worth mentioning. Or maybe it's all just liberal Democrat Party bias? Yes, that must be it.

"Well, you clearly have been reading the Democratic talking points," Fiorina replied, to which Brzezinski said she has been reading Fortune magazine and The New York Times.

We are not the posterlady for success that Fiorina is, so perhaps we are not qualified to point out that the list of Fiorina's failures may indeed become Democratic talking points if she decides to run -- but that doesn't make them any less true. Even if she is, as she's mentioned before, "extremely proud" of what she did at Hewlett-Packard and "will run on that record all day long."

But Clinton? What has she really done with her life, besides BENGHAZI?!?! (That's not a Republican talking point, of course; it's just The Truth.)

"Of course Hillary Clinton has opened doors for women and of course she is a highly intelligent, hardworking woman who has dedicated her life to public service and that is a tribute to her," Fiorina told Mika Brzezinski. "She has been an example and an inspiration for many women. And just the fact that she's running for president is inspiring to many women. I take none of that away from her."

But other than THAT, what has she done? Sure, she was the student commencement speaker when she graduated from Wellesley College (total safety school) in 1969, and then she went to Yale Law School, and maybe she racked up a few achievements even before she could skate by on nothing but her husband's last name, but has she ever murdered a major corporation practically to DEATH? Her secret lesbian lover Vince Foster, maybe, but not a major corporation. Not like far-more-qualified Carly Fiorina.

And that is why, if Fiorina can just get the media to stop bringing up those Democratic talking points that she has said she intends to run on, she will TOTALLY be the first Vaginal-American president, you'll see.

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