Also wants to know when he stopped beating his wife


[contextly_sidebar id="QklMfA5EUtKp0RNd2XGMO2zaGtpCkkgJ"]After approximately 79 years and 79 shazillion investigations into whether Barack Obama is a United States citizen (he is), or Hawaii is a foreign country (it is not), or whether black people can even be president (obviously, duh, TWICE), we are enjoying the Jesus, Joseph, and Mary out of The Birthering of Ted Cruz. And you are too.

Some Republican presidential candidates -- like Hispanic Jeb Bush, for example, and birthright citizenship beneficiary Marco Rubio -- have consulted their consciences, by which we mean their advisers, and decided naw, mang, it's cool if Cruz runs for president. Rand Paul has decided to make noncommittal "jokes" about it, so he can either attack or defend Cruz if anyone conclusively decides which strategy is best. Some others, however, like Donald Trump, are deeply concerned for Cruz, of course, that his illegal un-American status will expose him to lawsuits (hopefully filed by Trump). And then there's Carly "Remember me? I'm still running!" Fiorina:

In an interview on Fox News’ “On the Record With Greta Van Susteren,” Fiorina said: “I find it odd that Sen. Ted Cruz did not renounce his duel [sic] Canadian citizenship until 2014 when it became clear he was running for president.”

[contextly_sidebar id="Xlp0qbq3DFlhGzNycQJhnYuJnlRWdi02"]Hmmmmmm. What is Carly subtly suggesting by pointing out the simple fact that Cruz was a full-on full-blown Canada-lovin' Canadatarian from Canadistan until about five minutes ago? We can't read between her lines because of how nuanced they are. She's certainly not saying Ted Cruz cannot run for president because he was born in another country. (And also, not that she'd ever play the gender card, but does he even have a vagina that can beat up Hillary Clinton's vagina?)

No, she's just observing how "odd" it is that Ted Cruz was perfectly content to be a Canadian and didn't even try to divorce his native land until it was for transparent political pandering reasons -- something Fiorina would NEVER EVER DO, at least not unless it was about something important like sportsball and she was rooting against her alma mater to appeal to hayseed Iowans. And oh, also by the way, just a footnote, but Some Say a Cruz presidency would be as illegitimate as a baby squirted out of Bristol Palin's virgin hole:

As Fiorina told Fox’s Van Susteren: “There are both legal scholars and others who think this is, perhaps, a legitimate issue.”

[contextly_sidebar id="TxYPBYjJ25bJGPbiThVylJhyBgTWGWCX"]Yes, those "others" happen to be Republicans who hate the Christ out of Ted Cruz, because he is an asshole; Republicans who hate the Christ out of Ted Cruz because he is an asshole who is beating them in the Republican primary polls; and us, your humble Wonkette bloggers, who know how important it is, after the disastrous economy-fixing, healthcare-spreading, two-termed presidency of Kenyan usurper Barry Bamz Oh-Uh-Oh, how important it is indeed to thoroughly vet any and all conspiracy theory bullshit about a presidential contender.

[TPM]

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