Chris Christie Eated The Veep Nomination, Then Donald Trump Eated It Back, Ew.

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was...

Big news from the New York Post and some "sources," so you know it's true: A week before the Republican Convention, Donald Trump actually offered the vice-presidential nomination to Chris Christie, who was very happy and pleased, but then people who know something about politics and/or common sense said Are you kidding? You've got to be kidding, and made Trump offer the nomination to Mike Pence instead. Then Chris Christie cried and kicked an elementary school teacher, swear to god (we made that up).

So according to the Post and its "sources," all the campaign advisers, including Paul "who was he again?" Manafort and Trump's boys Eric and Donald Jr., were pressuring Trump to pick Pence, because "party unity" and "evangelicals," but Trump wasn't quite convinced. So Chris Christie made his own pitch:

“Trump cares about who’s the most loyal and who kisses his a– the most, not who’s the most qualified and what’s the best political decision,” said a source close to the campaign. “If it was up to him, it would have been Christie.”

On July 12, Christie reportedly begged and pleaded and promised to gaze up at Trump like a loving spaniel for the rest of his days, and it worked, because sucking up is a people skill that Chris Christie has:

“Christie said he thinks he deserves it and he earned it,” a second Trump source said. Convinced, Trump made the ­offer.

Christie “said all the BS that Trump likes to hear, and Trump said, ‘Yeah, sure I’m giving it to you.’ ”

But then Paul Manafort got wind of it and "told Trump his plane had a mechanical problem" (did it not, really? We would not be surprised!) that would force him to stay in Indiana overnight with the Pences, so they could win him over with their charming Hoosier ways, and Trump's advisers told him Christie would be nothing but trouble because Bridgegate (what with the trial going on right before the election, as it is now), and Trump reluctantly took back the vice-presidential chew-toy he'd given Christie, without even getting bit. Although the piece relies on anonymous sources, it seems credible enough, because it sounds like the sort of thing Trump would do, and maybe even to Pence, too.

Funniest line in the whole New York Post story:

“Trump had wanted Christie but Bridgegate would have been the biggest national story,” a third Trump source said. “He’d lose the advantage of not being corrupt.”

You know, if you overlook the not paying people, the not releasing his taxes, the fake "charitable donations," the illegal campaign donations, the hinky Trump Foundation, the fraud lawsuits over Trump University, the hinky modeling agency, the illegal immigrants working on the new hotel, and as many et ceteras as you might care to add. Other than those, the guy's clean, but Bridgegate, now there's some corruption.

Christie had a sad, then yelled "Hillary Clinton emails!" and "Benghazi" at the convention and felt better, the end. And a Christie aide told the New York Post the idea that Trump ever offered Christie the veep slot was "completely wrong," so there.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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