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Oh no, what crime has House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi committed against Chris Cillizza's journalistic instincts?

Horrors!

How long has it been since folks decided to pile on to Nancy Pelosi, for no particular reason besides how the piler-onners probably had bad gas? Five or six weeks? We all owe Chris Cillizza, who is fully aware that both sides do it, a debt of gratitude for helping steer the national conversation in a productive direction.

Pelosi made the offensive perfectly acceptable statement on "Fox News Sunday," because it's true. She was an extremely effective speaker, and her talents for keeping her caucus united in the minority would make Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan cream their knickers in jealousy. (We assume that's what they do when they get jealous. It's just like SPLOOT!) Meanwhile, she's raising shitloads of money for the Democratic Party -- which is her job -- and that's handy because despite how some newer voters seem to think purer-than-pure Democrats can coast to election funded by wishes and fairy kisses, they actually need money.

Here is the full statement:

“I am a master legislator. I know the budget to the n-th degree. I know the motivation of people,” responded Pelosi ...

BURN HER FOR A WITCH. Or maybe Chris Cillizza should stop tweeting and stop attempting to do journalism and for heaven's sake, don't ever do another Reddit AMA.

Pelosi said another thing on "Fox News Sunday" that you will find very controversial if you are A Idiot:

During an appearance on “Fox News Sunday,” host Chris Wallace asked Pelosi to estimate the chances that Democrats win back the lower chamber in 2018 and whether she would run again for Speaker if they did.

“That’s so unimportant. What is important is that we have the lively debate on a better deal,” Pelosi said.

“Better pay. Better jobs and a better future. And that’s what we look forward to having. And we have unity in our party. You saw it with the fight on the Affordable Care Act in the House and in the Senate."

OH GOD, SOMEBODY PUT A CORK IN HER! Did she just say it's NOT IMPORTANT for the Democrats to retake the House in 2018? Haha no, she did not. That quote just above is from The Hill, and it's correct NOW. Unfortunately, when The Hill published its story, its writer either didn't read the source material, or was too dumb to understand the source material, or just decided to lie about what Pelosi said for shits and giggles. We didn't get a screenshot of the original headline (DOH!), which literally stated that Pelosi doesn't care whether the Democrats win the midterms. Here's the URL, though, which, as of this writing, has STILL not been changed:

Jesus Christ. Pelosi simply didn't want to play Chris Wallace's stupid game of horse-racing the midterms, and she ALSO didn't want to play, "Let's see if we can create some controversy about Nancy Pelosi's role in leadership," since THAT game is at least 50% a creation of the media, which is full of hacks like Chris Cillizza and Chuck Todd, who get very bored sometimes, even in the Trump era.

So, to sum up: Nancy Pelosi Did Not Say That Thing! But that doesn't mean lazy/not smart people didn't pick up The Hill's ball and run with it! Here's a link to a wingnut website repeating the claim. Here's a link to a Bernie-type internet forum doing the same thing. All over something she DID. NOT. FUCKING. SAY.

It's weird. It's too bad we don't have some sort of precedent for people just cold making up Shit Nancy Pelosi Said and people believing it, OH WAIT, that's right, we have to pass Obamacare to find out what's in it, which is a thing Nancy Pelosi DID. NOT. FUCKING. SAY.

Want to see Nancy Pelosi actually saying things? Here's a great video from back in June, of Pelosi showing just how much she has Donald Trump's fucking number:

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[The Hill]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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