Christian Prophetess Will Bat Hurricane Irma Away With Her Magic Scepter

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You know what your Saturday needs? It needs this beautiful and perfect video of Christian Prophetess, Revelator and Weather Warrior Kat Kerr attacking Hurricane Irma with her magic scepter that she definitely did not get from the Ren Faire.


Apparently, Kerr is "taking authority" over the storm, like how Jesus did one time. I don't actually know anything about that, due to it not being a scene in Jesus Christ Superstar, but I'll take her word for it. I watched the video approximately 14 times in a row, and what I gather is that this means that she is yelling at the storm to get out of Florida while waving her scepter at it, and commanding "the millibars" to rise, rise RIIIIIIIIIIIISE!

Towards the end of the video, she gets a little huffy and starts telling Floridians that they really need to get it together start doing this Jesus scepter millibar magic themselves, because she has got better things to do, other things she needs to be doing for Jesus. Kat Kerr cannot be doing all of the wizarding herself!

She is, however, not entirely alone. Her fellow "prophet" Lance Wallnau is ALSO commanding the millibars to rise. He does not have a scepter though. Just his fingers.

Given that I have never encountered this flamingo-haired sorceress before (her hair is really good though tbqh), I decided that I should probably check her out. Apparently, she has quite the following! And also she's been on many heaven tours over the past ten years, and wrote a book about it.

Kat Kerr was taken by the Spirit of God on tours of Heaven for over ten years and has now been commissioned to reveal what she was shown. Two scribe angels were assigned to assist her and they have also delivered the ‘Foreword’ for the book, which is a profound message from God! She not only visited Heaven, but was shown visions of many things that are about to take place on earth. We are entering into a ‘Holy’ season of Heaven being released on earth – it will change life as we know it!

Woah, if true. I wonder what kind of tour packages Heaven offers. Is it like a cruise thing or a more of a walking tour?

Also she used her magic powers to predict that Donald Trump would win the presidency.

This video, however, was recorded on Monday, so it doesn't actually seem as though all her sceptering is working quite as well as one would have hoped. Probably because enough people are not sceptering with her! Get your scepters out people, we've got a hurricane to stop!

[Friendly Atheist]

Scepters cost money, people! Please drop some cash in our tip jar so that we may get some!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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