Unemployed nobody Christine O'Donnell used to masturbate in a "witch costume" just like any uptight gal in the 1980s, but her dumb new ghost-written book --witch-written book? -- won't be about anything good like that. Instead, this nincompoop lady will have her picture on a book about "what it takes to make America great again."

Hmm, let's see, what does it take to make America great again? Maybe a whole bunch of campaign donations pouring in so you can pay rent and go nuts at Applebee's a couple nights a week, without having to work for a living? Yes, that sounds about right. Anyway, Christine O'Donnell's book! Coming soon, etc.! [Website about books we guess]