It's True. Chuck C. Johnson Is Advising Trump Transition. Cyanide Pill Line Forms To Right
With Pizzagate, Pepe memes and a president-elect yelling at Meryl Streep on Twitter, it is likely that 2017 will go down in history as The Year of the Troll. And who better to help usher in this new era than "award-winning journalist," confirmed internet troll and alleged floor-shitter Chuck C. Johnson?
Probably no one! Which is probably why the freckle-faced, pus-filled boil on the inner thigh of the internet has been tapped to lend his sage advice to Trump's transition team and help them pick candidates to serve in the Trump administration!
Charles “Chuck” Johnson, a controversial blogger and conservative online personality, has been pushing for various political appointees to serve under Donald Trump, according to multiple sources close to the President-elect’s transition team. While Johnson does not have a formal position, FORBES has learned that he is working behind the scenes with members of the transition team’s executive committee, including billionaire Trump donor Peter Thiel, to recommend, vet and give something of a seal of approval to potential nominees from the so-called "alt-right."
Ooh! The "seal of approval" from the alt-right! How fancy! What is next? Will the Trump team be scouring YouTube comment section for future policy advisors? "Hey! This CheeziePoofs45 fella has some excellent ideas about Lady Ghostbusters and ethics in games journalism! Let's go right to his mom's basement and scoop him up for a cabinet position!"
Perhaps there will be an entire new committee created specifically to address the needs of Men's Rights Activists and MGTOWs [Mens Going Their Own Way] as well! And they could create a LAW that that all NiceGuys get sexually submissive supermodel virgin brides of their very own! Or that at least the US government invest more in Robot Girlfriend technology!
I wonder if they can get this guy! He's got some real good ideas, I bet you.
Oh! And for experts on the environment, they need look no further than this lady, who can totally destroy all the chemtrails with vinegar!
Maybe put this guy in charge of SCIENCE!
The internet, no doubt, has lots of geniuses whom I am sure will be of great help to the Trump administration.
But one has to wonder -- what kind of advice will Chuck Johnson, specifically, be giving the Trump transition team? Will he be teaching them the rare art of "outing" the wrong person, as Johnson did when he published the personal information of a woman he thought was the "Jackie" described in the Rolling Stone UVA article, but who turned out to not even be that woman? Oh! Or all about taking satirical articles seriously and then accusing New York Times reporters of having posed for Playgirl and having been arrested for exhibitionism? Or how to get banned from Twitter by asking your followers to "take out" a Black Lives Matter activist? Maybe! But Donald Trump is already so good about being wrong about things and harassing people on Twitter, I am not sure if Chuckie can teach him much of anything in that arena.
Apparently, Johnson is primarily giving his advice about who Trump should appoint to important positions!
Beyond recommending candidates, Johnson has also helped set up meetings between potential appointees and transition team members. He has worked with Jim O’Neill, who is being considered to head the Food and Drug Administration and is currently employed by Thiel at San Francisco-based investment firm Mithril Capital. Johnson has tried to arrange for O’Neill to meet with conservative influencers and political groups in an effort to build support for his potential FDA nomination. O’Neill declined to comment.
Johnson denies working directly with Thiel, although he did note that they "share some of the same enemies" -- referring, we can assume, to Gawker, which Thiel helped sue out of existence, and which Johnson also sued over the previously mentioned article that alleged that some people said he fucked sheep and shat on a floor when he was in college. He is, however, open about working with Steve Bannon, his former editor at Breitbart.
Still, Johnson insisted that while Bannon takes his opinion into consideration, his recommendations are sometimes ignored. “Imagine you had an ex-boss who became the consigliere to the President of the United States,” Johnson told FORBES last month. “You can’t be like, ‘Dude, you’re f***ing up.’”
Forbes's sources also state that the transition team has been in touch with DeploraBall organizers Mike Cernovich and Jeff Giesea, though Gisea declined to comment and Cernovich wouldn't confirm his involvement on account of not wanting anyone else to be held accountable for the garbage that regularly comes out of his mouth.
Johnson claims he is partially to thank for Trump being elected, as is Pepe the Frog:
Johnson attributed much of the work that he and others have done in support of Trump to being able to tap into voters’ emotions through memes, such as the Pepe the Frog cartoon that became an informal mascot for Trump supporters. Johnson said that memes represent a new way for people to discuss national politics, which he said is dominated by a “white paper” mindset predicated on debating policy merits based on fact rather than emotion. To hear Johnson tell it, the success of this approach is evidenced by the visceral reaction to memes that generated widespread attention and influenced public perception during Trump’s rise to power, despite having little or no basis in fact.
“The election was won by a bunch of people making memes,” Johnson proclaimed. “We memed the President into existence.”
This take is particularly curious, I think, given the anti-political correctness rallying cry of "I care about facts, not your feelings!" so often uttered after announcing a racist "fact" they just made up or got from a white supremacist site that just made it up. He's basically admitting that he and the rest of his cohort are a bunch of fact-ignoring imbeciles whose emotional maturity is best represented by a cartoon frog yelling "REEEEEEE!"
Which may just be the most truthful thing Chuck C. Johnson has ever said.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse