Pay up, kid

Look, being shot to death by police doesn't get you off the hook when it comes to paying your medical bills. At least according to the City of Cleveland, which filed a notice with the probate court Wednesday, demanding that the estate of Tamir Rice, the 12-year-old who was shot to death by police for the crime of playing with his toy gun in a park, pay the "past due" expense of his ambulance ride to the hospital.

It feels necessary to assure you at this time that we are not kidding.

In December, a grand jury determined that Cleveland Police Officer Timothy Loehmann was justified in killing a child for openly carrying a toy gun in the open-carry state of Ohio because that little boy was coming right for him, with his blackness, and Officer Loehmann feared for his life. As one does, when one spots a black child playing alone in a park.

[contextly_sidebar id="LifJB4QtRqChpeaA68dEL7Sl8MUNu5ld"]After Loehmann shot Tamir Rice twice, and after he and his partner Frank Garmback wrestled Rice's 14-year-old sister to the ground, cuffed her, and stuck her in the back of their cruiser for the crime of rushing to her dying brother's side -- no doubt also out of self-defense from her teenage blackness -- the dying child finally received medical attention from an FBI agent who happened to be in the neighborhood. And then the ambulance arrived, administered 450 bucks' worth of "Ambulance Advance Life Support" (plus mileage!), and delivered the child to the Metrohealth Medical Center, where it was too late to save his life.

But that doesn't mean the city isn't owed $500 for its efforts, and that bill has been outstanding for more than a year, so it's long past time to pay up "for emergency medical services rendered as the decedent's last dying expense."

Yeah, the law's the law and blah blah blah, and according to the city, it is entitled to reimbursement under "Ohio Revised Code §2117.25(A)(5)," but on the other hand, what even THE FUCK? As Rice's family attorney Subodh Chandra put it:

That the city would submit a bill and call itself a creditor after having had its own police officers slay 12-year-old Tamir displays a new pinnacle of callousness and insensitivity.

We shudder to imagine what other debts the city thinks Tamir Rice's grieving family owes. Certainly, the officer who shot him dead must have received some counseling. Maybe the Rice family ought to foot the bill for that too. And the city did spend more than a year investigating his death, only to conclude he was kinda asking for it. Maybe the dead child's estate should reimburse Cleveland for the cost of the investigation.

Or maybe -- crazy idea -- the city of Cleveland should immediately apologize, withdraw this bullshit creditor's claim, and leave the Rice family alone. It's already done quite enough for one brief lifetime, don't you think?

[Cleveland Scene]

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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