Cliche Bad Guy Osama Bin Laden Wanted To Derail Train On 9/11/11

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Intelligence analysts have been poring over Osama bin Laden's hard drives for signs of anything thatisn't porn or World of Warcraft save files, and it would appear they've finally found something: Osama bin Laden was in the MSPaint brainstorm stage of an attack on an American train. Yes one (1) whole train, not multiple. And it's not like bin Laden wanted to explode its cars. He just wanted to mess up the tracks so it would derail "at a valley or a bridge." And this would all happen on the big 10-year 9/11 anniversary this year to prove... how pathetic Al Qaeda has gotten that a single train derailment was the most ambitious thing they could think up? Was bin Laden planning to come in on a horse and rob this train?


Al Qaeda has officially jumped the shark. A train derailment? Was tying a beauty to the tracks considered too ambitious? This is just a cliche bad-guy plan. The terrorists have no new ideas.

And even if the attack was successful, we would have probably laughed at Al Qaeda. Train derailments? The United States does a pretty good job of doing that on its own from time to time, thank you.

Well, we guess we know what bin Laden was watching when he was holed up in that compound for years:

Hooray! Pretty trains!

Also in today's bin Laden news: finally, no big changes to the story the Obama administration has put out! And George W. Bush thought he had bin Laden trapped in Tora Bora again in 2007, but he wasn't there, and this made Bush cry for the first time since A Pup Named Scooby-Doo was cancelled in 1991. [AP]

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