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CNN: Good Thing Dorner Was Killed In That Fire, Because California Courts Would Have Ruined All The Fun

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With ex-LAPD officer andNo Labels patriot Christopher Dorner now believed to have been killed/flambé'd sometime before the State of the Union, CNN "Legal Expert" Jeffery Toobin posted a few of his thoughts regarding the state of the Death Penalty in Dorner’s home state of California. Turns out that the stupid hippies and their insistence on due process and stuff is completely ruining the market efficiency of America’s not at all embarrassing status as one of the few countries that executes people:


The root of the problem, in California and elsewhere, is that, as the Supreme Court has often said, death is different. The finality of capital punishment requires special safeguards against errors in the judicial process. But if a state takes those safeguards seriously, as California does, the process can become never-ending. Death-row exonerations, through DNA evidence and other means, have provoked even greater scrutiny of the cases of those who remain. And the state’s oxymoronical quest to kill people in a humane fashion turns out to be difficult indeed. All of this leads to delay.

Fucking Bill of Rights.

But seriously, why is Toobin so upset about California’s decreasing zeal in killing folks? It can't be personal, as Dorner himself was a huge fan of Toobin, so is this a policy issue? Toobin seems to think so:

It’s possible for reasonable people to hold differing opinions on the death penalty. (Over the years, I’ve had several different ones myself.) But what’s going on in California represents the worst of all worlds — a massively expensive Potemkin operation in which hundreds of people are sentenced to death and no one is ever executed…..

And to enormous expense: many studies have shown that the death penalty is far more costly to taxpayers than a maximum sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole. Research summarized by the Death Penalty Information Center suggests that California has spent more than four billion dollars on the death penalty since 1978. Florida pays about $24 million per execution. Maryland spent $186 million for five executions.

Goddamn that's a waste of money that we could have given to some deserving job creators!

Toobin goes on to compare California to the system in Texas, which as any hack comedian will tell you has made executing folks and trolling soft on crime pussies like the Pope a cottage industry since 1976. But interestingly Toobin did not link to the other major Death Penalty story of the day from Mother Jones, which details just how much certain states (Texas being chief among them) love to execute their most desperately insane prisoners for the lolz:

Colburn was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic at age 17. He was so doped up on anti-psychotic drugs at his trial, appeals lawyers noted, that he snored loudly through his trial — and when he was not medicated, he consumed his own bodily wastes.

But don’t think that this national disgrace is just limited to places where voters hate America enough to inflict Rick Perry on the rest of us. No, according to Mother Jones' facebook of sad, executing the mentally ill is actually a wide-ranging tradtion as Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Virginia, and Georgia have all recently had cases where obviously delusional defendants were nevertheless placed on Death Row. And let’s never forget biggest liberal dreamboat ever Bill Clinton, who flew back to Arkansas in the middle of a presidential campaign to witness the execution of Ricky Ray Rector (and probably ate the pie that Rector was saving for after the execution) in order to show the beltway media that he wasn’t some silly flower child like Michael Dukakis.

So in the end Toobin and the American people got what we all wanted: a very dead person whose mental status while committing his crimes was more than questionable. We even got to watch it happen LIVE ON THE TEEVEE and the Glenn Becks of the world have a scary black straw man to blame the left forever. Everyone wins!

[Toobin's Blog, Mother Jones]

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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