Trump idiots say what?

We are not saying everybody who voted for Donald Trump is stupid or racist or sexist or OH MAN DID WE MENTION DUMB. We are not saying they're all too empty-headed to know that the "news" they're getting from Facebook is not actually real news. We're not saying they ALL should be required to wear helmets, for their own protection.

But, uh ... holy shit. CNN's Alisyn Camerota sat down with some Trump-loving Americans to find out how dumb they are, and she was not disappointed! Let's watch a video together and cry about the failure of the American educational system and the media and the rabid raccoons that obviously live in the brains of these people. Video first, then more details after that!

Some things we learn that are definitely "facts," from these Trump supporters:

  • That whole thing with how Donald Trump has emboldened white supremacists and Nazis? One Trump lady says that's no biggie, and would probably just go away, except for "the media has to hop on everything, and it's wrong!" That's right, DAMN THAT MEDIA for hopping on all the racists and bigots attacking minorities around the country. It's probably Katy Tur's fault!
  • The whole group agrees that, in reference to the anti-Trump protests happening around the nation, "Some of them didn't even vote!" That is ... OK, that one's true, and it pisses us off. BUT LOTS OF THEM DID, and they're scared of life under Spray Tan Hitler.
  • Having made one salient point, the original Trump lady takes an express train to Crazy Town, asserting that "Voting is a privilege in this country, and you need to be legal, not like California where three million illegals voted!" At this point, Camerota wants to know where lady got her information, and she responds that it was "coming all across the media!" It was even on CNN, she says! Camerota shakes her head and says "No" very quietly, because bless her heart.
  • "Do you think that three million people illegally voted?" Camerota is obviously worried about the people in front of her. Trump lady says yes, in California, illegals voted. "How many?" NOBODY KNOWS! "Do you think three dozen or do you think three million?" Trump lady ain't know! But she knows it happened because President Obama told illegals they could vote.
  • (FACTCHECK: The fuck he did!)
  • But all the Trump supporters heard him say that, with their ear holes!
  • "WHERE?" Alisyn Camerota is trying not to take one million shots of whiskey and quit on the spot at this point.
  • Trump supporters agree that you can find it on the Googles.
  • And also on Facebook.
  • OK, so real talk, Camerota wants to know if these people REALLY believe that MILLIONS of people voted illegally, or is maybe Ashton Kutcher going to jump out and say YA PUNK'D, like his old TV show. The response? "California allows it." That's when Camerota officially smacks herself on the head, because OMG:
  • Finally, on the subject of Trump's flag-burning tweet, these folks don't think people should lose their citizenship -- THEY'RE NOT COMPLETE MONSTERS -- but that they should definitely go to jail, or maybe get a ticket for starting an illegal fire, and at this point we are all Alisyn Camerota, struggling to understand WTF is even going on right now.

We are just real glad a solid minority of Americans as high quality as these have chosen our next president. Seriously, thanks so much you guys.

[h/t RawStory]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

In less than a year, Rebecca asked you all to buy me to be your very own pet blogger, and my life suddenly became incredibly good, like as good as an Abba song. It's as good as "Dancing Queen." Thanks to the timing of the whole thing (and to Barry Obama and Nancy Pelosi), I actually had health insurance for the first time in years, a not inconsiderable thing. And you had an Editrix who was not working 12 hour days six and a half days a week and drinking too much from stress. Your continued donations helped hire Evan full time and Robyn and Bianca part time and a whole raft of freelancers, and now Rebecca is down to eight-hour days, five and a half days a week, and drinking because there's a madman in the White House and everything's terrible.

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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