CNN Lady Alisyn Camerota Cannot Even Handle How Dumb Trump Supporters Are
Trump idiots say what?
We are not saying everybody who voted for Donald Trump is stupid or racist or sexist or OH MAN DID WE MENTION DUMB. We are not saying they're all too empty-headed to know that the "news" they're getting from Facebook is not actually real news. We're not saying they ALL should be required to wear helmets, for their own protection.
But, uh ... holy shit. CNN's Alisyn Camerota sat down with some Trump-loving Americans to find out how dumb they are, and she was not disappointed! Let's watch a video together and cry about the failure of the American educational system and the media and the rabid raccoons that obviously live in the brains of these people. Video first, then more details after that!
Some things we learn that are definitely "facts," from these Trump supporters:
- That whole thing with how Donald Trump has emboldened white supremacists and Nazis? One Trump lady says that's no biggie, and would probably just go away, except for "the media has to hop on everything, and it's wrong!" That's right, DAMN THAT MEDIA for hopping on all the racists and bigots attacking minorities around the country. It's probably Katy Tur's fault!
- The whole group agrees that, in reference to the anti-Trump protests happening around the nation, "Some of them didn't even vote!" That is ... OK, that one's true, and it pisses us off. BUT LOTS OF THEM DID, and they're scared of life under Spray Tan Hitler.
- Having made one salient point, the original Trump lady takes an express train to Crazy Town, asserting that "Voting is a privilege in this country, and you need to be legal, not like California where three million illegals voted!" At this point, Camerota wants to know where lady got her information, and she responds that it was "coming all across the media!" It was even on CNN, she says! Camerota shakes her head and says "No" very quietly, because bless her heart.
- "Do you think that three million people illegally voted?" Camerota is obviously worried about the people in front of her. Trump lady says yes, in California, illegals voted. "How many?" NOBODY KNOWS! "Do you think three dozen or do you think three million?" Trump lady ain't know! But she knows it happened because President Obama told illegals they could vote.
- (FACTCHECK: The fuck he did!)
- But all the Trump supporters heard him say that, with their ear holes!
- "WHERE?" Alisyn Camerota is trying not to take one million shots of whiskey and quit on the spot at this point.
- Trump supporters agree that you can find it on the Googles.
- And also on Facebook.
- OK, so real talk, Camerota wants to know if these people REALLY believe that MILLIONS of people voted illegally, or is maybe Ashton Kutcher going to jump out and say YA PUNK'D, like his old TV show. The response? "California allows it." That's when Camerota officially smacks herself on the head, because OMG:
- Finally, on the subject of Trump's flag-burning tweet, these folks don't think people should lose their citizenship -- THEY'RE NOT COMPLETE MONSTERS -- but that they should definitely go to jail, or maybe get a ticket for starting an illegal fire, and at this point we are all Alisyn Camerota, struggling to understand WTF is even going on right now.
We are just real glad a solid minority of Americans as high quality as these have chosen our next president. Seriously, thanks so much you guys.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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