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Conservative Rap Group 'The Young Cons' White, Terrible At Rapping

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If you guys didn't hear, Democrats tax everything! Thankfully these very adept rapping fellows from the world-famous ghetto Dartmouth are here to explain this, make a number of strained pop-culture references, and give shout-outs to some of their favorite Bible verses. And you'd never believe it, but all of the Fox News personalities love them!

Here is a video of them playing basketball and, um, sitting on a wall for a bit? Are they on the Dartmouth basketball team, or are those hoops just really low? Dartmouth, when you let these guys in, did they break the SAT they were so good at it? Like, did they dunk the SAT and shatter its glass?

"God loves the poor, but so does Big Government." Whoops! "I wish for a passion so strong I uproar / That my child bares a dream, be an entrepreneur." Oh man, we're uproaring so hard on these small-businesses rhymes up in heres, shortsies!

Glenn Beck's website is working again, and it has a review:

If you’re not familiar with “The Young Cons,” then let me introduce you to them. Josh Riddle and David Rufful are seniors at Dartmouth College, where they spend their free time playing basketball, attending classes, and–rapping about Ronald Reagan, Ayn Rand, and Jesus Christ. Their unique [YES!] brand of rap music has been noticed by the likes of Megyn Kelly, USA Today, Fox News, Mark Steyn, Mike Huckabee, and the list goes on.

It definitely does! These bros list all the testimonials from conservatives on their website. One black guy says (haha, jk, he's white), "They’re Christian. They’re conservative. And, of course, liberals are going crazy over this. Some of their lyrics are really a hoot." A hoot! Somebody called them a "hoot!" That's the kind of reputation a rapper usually has to murder for! (Or be an owl.)

How do you know these young gentlemen are academics? Just look at their sources!

"You had me at citing Free Republic. A-plusses for all of you!" — their professor

"Those blazers you're threading are very doping, dog-dogs! We respect you!" — other rappers

Congratulations, Dartmouth [The Blaze]

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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