In yet another isolated incident, a black motorist was pulled from his car, thrown to the ground, and then had his head smashed against the hood of a police car. And for some reason, although the dash cam video doesn't show him behaving violently, Stuart Fitzgerald, 53, has been charged with assaulting officers in the May 26, 2014, incident. We really need to just have a story template to use for all these isolated incidents, where we can fill in the names, dates, and perfectly reasonable bullshit explanations from police. It would save a lot of time.

Fitzgerald was pulled over for "flashing his high-beams" at the officer. He did not have his license with him, and police say he refused to sign the traffic citation, so he had to be pulled from the car.

Video shows an Orange County [Virginia] sheriff’s deputy throwing Fitzgerald onto the four-lane highway, but there is no audio during that segment due to what has been described as a malfunction.

The footage also partially shows Fitzgerald’s head repeatedly hitting the patrol car’s hood -- but the deputy claims Fitzgerald intentionally did that to himself.

Fitzgerald said he did not remember what happened at that point, but suffered a chipped tooth and facial injuries as a result.

It's a shame the audio wasn't working during that traffic stop, because we're sure it would have captured the deputy telling Fitzgerald, with great concern, "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Why are you hitting yourself?"

Fitzgerald insists that he was not resisting, and that he definitely didn't assault the deputy:

"I definitely was not," Fitzgerald said. "Cause, I'm not a fool. I'm not going to resist. I'm not going to fight 'em -- I know better than that."

WUSA showed the dashcam video to Ron Hosko, president of the Law Enforcement Legal Defense League, who questioned why there was an assault charge:

"I wish I had sound," [Hosko said.] "I would have questions about why we ended up on the ground."

"If he was absolutely handcuffed what was the purpose of the tackle," Hosko asked.

Also -- and isn't it the darnedest thing how sometimes these coincidences just happen? -- Washington DC TV station WUSA reports that the Orange County Sheriff's Department is just having a heck of a problem with those pesky recording devices:

Six other cameras, assigned to other officers who responded -- that should have been at the scene -- did not record video or audio of the confrontation according to the agency.

Probably they need a bigger budget. That must be it. After repeated requests from WUSA, both the sheriff's office and a second agency that was on the scene, the Town of Orange Police Department, acknowledged having additional recordings of the arrest, but have not yet released them.

The deputy who tackled Fitzgerald has since left Orange County; Sheriff Mark Amos wouldn't say why and would not discuss the case since it's pending in court. Asked whether the deputy's use of force against Fitzgerald had been investigated, Amos said there had been no investigation, since "There was never a complaint."

Thank goodness, though, it sounds like Fitzgerald is at least getting some top-notch representation:

Fitzgerald, a Marine veteran, spent five weeks in jail before his court-appointed attorney finally requested a bond hearing.

His current attorney, who has been suspended by the bar eight times for licensing violations, was unaware of many of the findings uncovered by the TV station.

Fitzgerald has been charged with three felonies, including assaulting the deputy, and for all we know, denting the hood of the police car with his head. His first court appearance is scheduled for Friday.

We're sure that he'll be just fine -- after all, this is America, and we don't just throw innocent people into prison. Say, any readers in the DC area know any good pro bono lawyers?

[WUSA / RawStory]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate with CC
Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

Yr Wonkette is entirely supported by donations from you, the reader. Please send us money so socialists won't make us take the stairs.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.


5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc