Corey Lewandowski And The Mystery Of The Dogfaces That Didn't Bark

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"Fox & Friends" held a celebratory wake for Joe Biden's political career Wednesday after his disastrous showing in the New Hampshire primary. Donald Trump's former and currently non-indicted campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, came by to toss some dirt on the Biden campaign's grave. Lewandowski claimed Biden's son Hunter and the Ukrainian gas company Burisma have become "recurring themes," and they're hurting Joe Biden's "credibility," even though he wasn't the one impeached for all this. Lewandowski declared that "Joe's race is over," and the "Fox & Friends" hosts gleefully agreed. Biden didn't have a good "strategy" for reacting to a BS scandal Republicans ginned up, and it showed. He got angry. He shouted at people. This was all in contrast, supposedly, with how calm and collected Trump was during impeachment.

Lewandowski brought up how, at a campaign stop Sunday in New Hampshire, Biden called a 21-year-old student a "lying, dog-faced pony soldier." That was weird. No one's denying it. However, Lewandowski tried to throw an impromptu pity party for Donald Trump, who just skated on impeachment charges.

LEWANDOWSKI: Can you imagine for one second if Donald Trump said that? Every media outlet in the country would be saying he hates women.

You don't have to "imagine" such a wild scenario. We're not getting on the Trolley to see King Friday in the Land of Make Believe. It's quite real and sadly mundane by this point.

This repulsive tweet is still up. It's been more than a year now and no one on the president's staff has bothered to delete it during the 18 hours a day he's either asleep or on the toilet.


Trump was deliberately trying to insult Stormy Daniels. Biden was attempting to joke around with a woman who'd asked a question about his poor showing in the Iowa caucuses. It was a patronizing joke: He asked her if she'd attended a caucus before and when she said she had, he responded, "No, you haven't. You're a lying, dog-faced pony soldier." I was 21 almost 25 years ago (sob!), but as I recall, it was annoying when older people assumed I was an idiot who hadn't done anything worthwhile yet. Biden does this a lot, especially with women. It's not as vicious as anything Trump does, but that doesn't make it less problematic. You can't let Trump blow the curve on what's considered inappropriate behavior.

Lewandowski seems to have forgotten, even though he was talking about it less than a minute earlier, that Biden lost the New Hampshire primary. It was a rout. He left the state with zero delegates. Perhaps his curious choice of quoting John Wayne movies that might not even exist didn't work out for him, or maybe it's why he didn't come in sixth. I'm no James Carville. The point is Trump has a documented history of repulsive comments about women, and they never proved fatal to the Teflon Sexist. He won New Hampshire and came in a strong second in Iowa despite suggesting Megyn Kelly gave him a hard time at a debate because she was possibly deranged and premenstrual.

During one of the apparently pointless 2016 presidential debates, Hillary Clinton pointed out that Trump had called former MIss Universe Alicia Machado "Miss Piggy" and "Miss Housekeeping" (she's Latina). He called into "Fox & Friends" the next morning to explain why he chose those particular nicknames.

TRUMP: I know that person. That person was a Miss Universe person. And she was the worst we ever had, the worst, the absolute worst, she was impossible. She gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem. We had a real problem. Not only that, her attitude.

Machado campaigned for Hillary Clinton in Florida, which Trump still won. He did no worse among Hispanic voters than Mitt Romney in 2012. There's debate over how many white women actually voted for Trump — I wouldn't own up to it, either, but obviously he didn't collapse enough with the demo to lose the Electoral College.

Oh, and besides calling every woman in the world ugly — you remember Heidi Cruz, and Carly Fiorina — Trump specifically called Omarosa, Arianna Huffington, and Gail Collins "dogs." Like, specifically. Dogs. It was pretty famous.

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So Lewandowski can simmer down with the outrage about "imagine if Trump called someone a dog." Sure, we all think Trump is a gross misogynist, but it hasn't mattered so far. He already gave one Medal of Freedom to a professional misogynist. He'll probably give himself one on his way out of the White House.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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