Donate

Corzine Ad: Don't Vote For My Super-Duper Fat Fatty McFatfat Opponent

News


Oh, how we are looking forward to the midterm elections! They're the most fun: dozens of close races where we couldn't care less about who wins, each defined by some hilarious racist remark or decades-old hotel affair or nutty family member. OR -- as is the case in this rare 2009 election, for New Jersey governor -- weight. "Political experts" monitoring the race between Jon Corzine and Republican Chris Christie have been wondering for a while now whether Christie's campaign will sink under his massive massive super-fat insanely obese body. The Fats have rarely done well in elections -- it's true! -- at least in the modern era, when male fatness stopped being a symbol of wealth and power and Land. So, is Corzine playing the "fat card" against his fat opponent, in his new ad?

No! Stop being so nitpicky about common metaphors, you bloggers!

But then again! It is kind of peculiar that we don't see an image of fat Chris Christie until the very moment when the ad accuses him of "throwing his weight around." It is only then that we see his fat, fat head, which dovetails most professionally into footage of the fat Chris Christie looking funny as he steps out of a car. Fat people always look funny when they step out of cars. Especially in slow-motion!

On another note, isn't this a potential VULNERABILITY for Corzine, to release a full attack on an opponent for not taking the proper vehicular safety measures? Granted, there are degrees of everything... but...

Chris Christie is FAT. HE EATS SANDWICHES MADE OF SMALL CHILDREN. CHRIS CHRISTIE DOES THIS.

Corzine accuses Christie of 'throwing weight around' [Ben Smith]

$
Donate with CC

Barack Obama delivered his first major address of his post-presidency Tuesday at an event in Johannesburg, South Africa, honoring the 100th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's birth. It was -- as you'd expect for the occasion -- appropriately dignified and thoughtful. It was also every bit as inspiring as you might expect from the first black American president speaking in memory of the first black president of a nation that for most of its modern history was synonymous with apartheid. Let's take some time to bask in what an actual world leader sounds like, shall we?

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Guess what Vladimir Putin's getting for Christmas! He's been dropping hints, and you know the Big Orange Baboon can't say no to him for some unknown reason. Gonna be so cute when little Vladdy stumbles down the stairs in his PJs, brushes the sleep from his eyes, and finds MONTENEGRO all wrapped up with a big bow under the Christmas tree. Adorbz!

Oh, but we are to kid! Just a little levity as President Treasonweasel slams a sledgehammer into the international framework that kept us out of another world war for the past 70 years. So why are we suddenly talking about a tinyass country whose chief export appears to be consonants? (Sorry, Montenegro. But your Predsjednik Crne Gore is Milo Đukanović, and your capital city is Cetinje, which is just cheating at Scrabble.)

Well! Donald Trump just got out of a two-hour, closed-door meeting with Vladimir Putin, whose government tried to stage a coup in 2016 to assassinate Đukanović and stop Montenegro's accession to the European Union. Which might not be a coincidence!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc