Image viaYouTube

With a little over a week to go before Election Day, Scott Walker is increasingly a man in need of a helping hand. His once-certain re-election as King of Wisconsin has taken up residence in every pollster's "no idea, don't ask us" box, the U.S. Supreme Court cruelly dashed his hopes of excluding thousands of largely Democratic voters from the polls, a new batch of documents just dropped from the investigation that's taken down a half-dozen of his underlings and cronies, and his opponent Mary Burke has been landing punches (with ads) and drawing big crowds with visits from a string of Democratic superstars.

Faced with the late realization that plunging his state into financial crisis while pre-presidenting his way through the conservative con-fab circuit might not have been a winning formula, Scott rented a deluxe bus and took off on a last-minute barnstorming tour on Saturday, making sure to book some time with one of the GOP's the hottest campaigners for the final days before the election.

It might seem a little awkward for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie to be stopping by to help Scott get across the finish line, given their shared affliction with Early Cycle Presidential Hope Syndrome. This did not escape the reporters following Christie during his visit to Wisconsin a month ago, when one of them asked whether he thought Walker would make a good president.

Listen, Governor Walker is a great governor, and he would do good at any executive position that he wanted to pursue. But I know this much, because I've spoken to him about it -- he's not focused on anything beyond November 4th and neither am I. And whatever happens beyond November 4th is a decision that he'll make about his future and that anybody else that's considering that will make about theirs. But he's an outstanding executive, and he'd be good at any executive position that he'd wanna pursue.

All you need to know about both men's chances in the 2016 primary is in Scotty's beaming smile when Christie gets the question. He hasn't figured out how to be cool and act fake-exasperated with the press for asking. Total freshman.

Image via YouTube

Besides hanging around with Chris Christie, what can save Walker's governorship at this point? He's too busy trying to keep his job to actually be a governor right now, and one week is not nearly enough to repair the damage he's done to his state during his first term in office, but there's still a chance he'll be able to shine in a time of crisis. While he's unlikely to have a Hurricane Sandy Fleece on the Beach moment of his own before Election Day, we've seen, all too vividly, that wholesome political pandering can run up against bloody harvest-season violence in small-town America without warning.

We urge the county fairs and roadside patches along Scott Walker's bus tour to be on their gourd for false flag Pumpkin Rioters, outside agitators bused in to sow unrest and give Walker an opening to show Real Leadership by suppressing the Orange Revolution with all those armored vehicles Wisconsin cops have hanging around. Our country does not need more of its young people caught up in the frenzied rage we saw in Keene. Never forget!

Walker's Democratic challenger, former state commerce secretary and Trek Bicycle executive Mary Burke, will be appearing with the current president in Milwaukee on Tuesday, following rallies with Bill Clinton and Michelle Obama. Burke is in a statistical dead heat with Walker and needs one last showering of your wonkbucks to help take her through the final stretch. What do you say, Wonketteers? Are you sick of Scott Walker's smug dismissal of the need for a minimum wage, his demands that women seeking health care submit to invasive ultrasounds, his total failure to fulfill the basic requirements of his office? Then buy a better future for Wisconsin, with your money!

[ Newsday / Crooks & Liars / Daily Cardinal / Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel ]

You can follow Beth on Twitter.

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FINALLY. Of course, we say "finally," because we haven't been behind the scenes in the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees to witness the negotiating and wrangling firsthand, so we don't know what it's taken to make this happen, but clear your calendars for July 17, because Bobby Mueller is goin' to Congress!

Committee chairs Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler sent the letter late yesterday, accompanied by a subpoena, for Mueller to testify at 9 a.m. Eastern on July 17, which is a Wednesday, so you will presumably not be busy with brunch. The hearings for each committee will be back to back, after which members of Mueller's staff will meet with committee staff behind closed doors.

Schiff told Rachel Maddow last night that it should not be viewed as a friendly subpoena, because as we all know, Mueller has been very reluctant to become the star of the political circus this will surely create. However, he's gonna have to suck it up, because as we all saw after what happened when Mueller addressed the nation for 10 whole minutes, there is great value in actually having Mueller breathe life into his own work, for an American audience that hasn't read his 448-page report. (And we don't blame them/you! We probably wouldn't have read it all if it wasn't our job. It would probably be on our "list," like "someday I am going to watch 'The Sopranos' start to finish finally. And then I will read the Mueller Report!")

Point is, it needs to happen on live TV, where people can gather around at work and on the train and in the Fantastic Sams while they gets their hair did, and let this highly respected public servant tell the story of how America's most hostile enemy attacked the 2016 election in order to help Donald Trump, how the Trump campaign was positively orgasmic over that reacharound, and how Trump criminally obstructed the investigation into that hostile foreign attack at every turn.

And because Robert Mueller is a patriotic American who respects the rule of law and our institutions, he will be complying with the subpoena, because of fucking course he will.

Right off the bat, we have a couple of questions:

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Beds at the 'temporary' shelter in Homestead, Florida. US HHS photo.

The House of Representatives passed a $4.5 billion emergency bill to fund detention of undocumented immigrants and asylum seekers yesterday, but the bill's demands that government meet minimal standards of humane treatment led Donald Trump to threaten a veto, because no one puts cruelty in a corner. The bill passed largely along party lines, 230-195, with four progressive Democratic first-term representatives opposing it because they believed the machinery of the New Cruelty shouldn't get a single dollar more. Trump prefers a bill already passed by the Senate, which would provide a similar level of funding $4.6 billion), but lacks the House bill's crazy radical requirements that migrants be held in less horrifying conditions than have been reported in the last week.

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