Bible-Dinosaur-Ex-Con-Creationist Kent Hovind Arrested For 'Bodyslamming' His Wife (For Jesus?)
Kent "Dr. Dino" Hovind, great lover of Jesus and proprietor of Dinosaur Adventure Land in Conecuh County, Alabama — a creationist theme park, "Where Dinosaurs and The Bible Meet!" — has been arrested on charges of domestic violence.
According to an order of protection filed in July by his now-estranged girlfriend and non-official third wife Cindi Lincoln, Hovid "bodyslammed" her in October of 2020, sending her to the emergency room. Then, in January, she alleges he sent an associate to her home to threaten her with a gun, just like Jesus would have. The day after that occurred, the associate came back and trashed her property. Allegedly.
Hovind himself actually recorded the incident, which Lincoln posted to YouTube along with other things she cited as evidence of his intent to slander her.
"He wants to shut me up," Lincoln wrote in her petition, "He is dependent upon public opinion for his livelyhood [sic.] .... [I] fear he will kill me to shut me up."
That might not be so far off base for Hovind. Should he be convicted, this will not be his first stint in prison, having served eight years for tax evasion. In 2020, Hovind tried to sue the US government for $536,041,100 on the grounds that he never should have been arrested for tax evasion, for reasons of "a bunch of sovereign citizen bullshit." The kind where nothing counts because his name wasn't written in all capital letters. That case was dismissed in June of this year, but Hovind has maintained that he does not have to pay taxes because all of his money and property belong to God.
After getting out of prison, Hovind moved his "Dinosaur Adventure Land" from his backyard to an empty plot in Conecuh County and began evangelizing almost daily on YouTube to nearly 185,000 subscribers who apparently want to get theological and scientific advice from an ex-con who got his doctorate from a Christian diploma mill for $2000.
As his non-legal wife, Lincoln could very well have been privy to tax evasion he's been engaged in since they've been together, without anything being covered by spousal privilege. After all, his first wife ended up with a prison sentence herself and his second marriage ended partially because his second wife, Mary Tocca, was suspicious that he was again engaging in tax shenanigans with his ministry.
In a YouTube video posted the day after his arrest, Hovind assured his 185,000 viewers that he was "squeaky clean" and that there was nothing to be concerned about, that this was all just an evil plot to make him look bad, orchestrated by people who don't love God.
He also said that his lawyer told him audio recordings exonerated him, which seems like terrible advice given how disturbing they are.
Hovind is wrong about evolution and dinosaurs. He was wrong about not having to pay taxes because all of his money belongs to God and Jesus and the United States government didn't capitalize his whole name on his arrest warrant. He will also be wrong if he suggests that God or Jesus told him it was okay for him to bodyslam his ex.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse