Big excitement at Woodrow Wilson High School in Dallas, where afetus was found in a women's restroom Friday, leading to approximately five million police descending on the school, as well as an equal number of shocked reactions about the horrors of a teen mother callously abandoning her infant.

The fetus was found in a bathroom stall and reported to police, who then "swarmed" the school near the end of the school day, creating concern among parents who weren't immediately told what was going on. CBS affiliate KTVT spoke to one mother who said, “I got out [of my car] and specifically asked, ‘what’s going on and is it safe for the kids to be out here?’ and I was told to go away.” A student also said, “I seen a helicopter and I was really worried,” leading some viewers to wonder why the fuck a fetus in a restroom required an Air Cavalry response, and others to simply hiss "SAW!" at their televisions.

RawStory reports that detectives for the Dallas Police Department’s Child Abuse Unit were investigating, and that they hoped to identify a "suspect." Dallas Police Major John Lawton explained that in addition to conventional investigative techniques, the assistance of supernatural forces was also being sought:

We’re reviewing video, talking to the teachers, trying to determine if anybody has any knowledge of any student that may have had something going on in their life, and pray[.]

God Almighty, P.I., was unavailable for comment on the status of the investigation.

The What Are Our Children Coming To Brigade was also out in force. Glenn Beck's House Of Perpetual Moral Scolding went with the headline "Horror: Human Fetus Found Inside Girls Restroom at Dallas High School," and Alan Elliott, a representative of babby-saving organization "Baby Moses Dallas," told teevee station KDFW:

incidents like Friday's are precisely why Baby Moses laws were created -- to make people aware that infants can be dropped off at safe baby sites like fire stations and hospitals without any questions asked.

Schools are included in their education and awareness programs.

"And that's a happy ending when that happens, because the baby is safe, the mother is protected from any sort of prosecution, so it's a win-win for both of them,” said Elliott.

By Tuesday, however, police had determined that the fetus was not the result of a horrific baby-murder or abandonment, but was in fact a miscarriage and that "no criminal offense took place." None of the follow-up stories asked Mr. Elliott to explain how his organization could have kept the woman from the terrible choice that she had made in allowing her body to miscarry, and the story at the Blaze has yet to be updated, but commenters roundly condemned the article's headline for using the word "fetus," because it was very definitely a baby, and now it's pretty clear you just can't trust The Blaze because it's pro-abortion.

God Almighty's office issued a statement saying simply that the miscarriage was part of His plan, but that the precise nature of that plan must remain a "mystery."

In related news, the Texas legislature is now considering a bill requiring that all high school restrooms meet the same standards as outpatient surgical centers.

[KDFW and KTVT via RawStory / The Blaze / NBC DFW]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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