Dan Crenshaw Says Joe Biden Not His Real Dad, Dan Crenshaw Is GROWNED UP!

Sometimes we think Republican congressmen are literally passing around a dunce cap and using it much like a talking stick, deciding in a really organized way whose turn it is to say the dumbest fucking thing ever said. Yesterday, Wonkette talked about Rep. Lauren Boebert insisting over the weekend that it was "no coincidence" that the Fourth of July was on a Sunday this year, taking it as some sort of sign from whatever idiot God she worships that God is standing with the morons who believe Joe Biden isn't the real president or something. God even knows what she was saying. She probably doesn't even know what she was saying.

But whatever, by Tuesday afternoon, it was Rep. Dan Crenshaw's turn to wear the hat.

Dan Crenshaw says Joe Biden isn't allowed to knock on his door because JOE BIDEN IS NOT HIS REAL PARENTS. We don't know what Crenshaw thinks happens when people knock on people's doors or why that's something only his real dad would be allowed to do.

As you can see from the quote tweet, Crenshaw was referencing remarks President Biden made yesterday about what America needs to do to get COVID shots into the arms of those Americans who still haven't done it, either for legitimate reasons or because they're morons. (The president didn't really differentiate, because he's nicer than we are.) This is coming, of course, after America failed — Biden did not fail — to get 70 percent of the country vaccinated by the 4th. Biden said, "We need to go community by community, neighborhood by neighborhood, and oft times door-to-door, literally knocking on doors," to get the remaining people vaccinated.

So Congressman Snowflake is up here having a conniption because Joe Biden isn't his real dad and doesn't get to knock on his door. Or something. We guess he's just a real fucking wuss when people knock on his door. Bet that's weird for the mailman.

We guess this is something rightwing idiots have decided to be mad about, because it's always something. Fox News is blabbering about the "backlash" to Biden's remarks — all from very serious people, obviously! — and oh look who immediately stole back her dunce cap:

"The government now wants to go door-to-door to convince you to get an 'optional' vaccine," Rep. Lauren Boebert, R-Colo., warned.

And then a bunch of other Republicans tackled Boebert and stole the cap:

"Hell no," Republican congressional candidate Sean Parnell exclaimed.

"Vaccine education and conversation should be between a doctor and patient, not by a grassroot government door knocker," physician and Fox News contributor Dr. Nicole Saphier wrote.

"A lot of people have big government antibodies. Don't knock on those doors," Rep. Thomas Massie, R-Ky., wrote.

"It's NONE of the government's business knowing who has or hasn't been vaccinated," Rep. Andy Biggs, R-Az., similarly expressed.

"Whoever suggested that the best way to reach remaining vaccine skeptics was to talk about going door to door should be fired immediately. It's the Beto O'Rourke of vaccine outreach," GOP strategist Matt Whitlock knocked the Biden administration.

"How will the government know who is vaccinated or not for this kind of targeting?" Daily Wire senior editor Ashe Short asked.

And then Marjorie Taylor Greene compared vaccines to Nazis again, and everybody agreed she was the stupidest bigot of them all and everyone should stop vying for her rightful crown:

This country is so doomed.

[Fox News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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