dana rohrabacher (right) R, The Taliban

Donald Trump is having a real hard time filling his cabinet! There are only so many Christianist lunatics who don't believe in public schools to run the department of Education, and actual mustache-twirling villains foreclosing on 90-year-old women over 27 missing cents to run the Treasury, to go around! Hardest of all is secretary of State, our ambassador to the world. Like, Donald Trump would reallllly like to put Rudy Giuliani in there, because he's the worst, but for some reason he is making him stew while he humiliates Mitt Romney and keeps adding new flavors to the mix.

Today's flavor? Oh, just the Taliban. No, really. The actual Taliban. According to the Washington Examiner (whatever), Dana Rohrabacher, the "surfing Congressman" from Huntington Beach, California, is emerging as a "consensus" dark horse candidate for secretary of State, with Mustache Of Evil John Bolton as his deputy, or the other way around.

Dana Rohrabacher spent pretty much all of the '80s and '90s giving loving blowies to the Taliban, because the enemy of our enemy (which was Russia! the '80s and '90s were so weird!) were some real good guys!

The potential rise to power of the Taliban does not alarm Rohrabacher, because the Taliban could provide stability in an area where chaos was creating a real threat to the U.S. Rohrabacher says that under the previous situation Afghanistan was becoming a major source of drugs and a haven for terrorists “an anarchistic state of narco-terrorism.” In contrast, the Taliban leaders have already shown that they intend to establish a disciplined, moral society.

Rohrabacher calls the sensational media reporting of the “harsh” imposition of strict Islamic behavior, with the underlying implication that this somehow threatens the West, “nonsense.” He says the Taliban are devout traditionalists, not terrorists or revolutionaries, and, in contrast to the Iranians, they do not seem intent on exporting their beliefs.

He continued mooning over them just a few months before the 9/11 attacks.

“On April 11, 2001, Rohrabacher traveled with [Khaled] Saffuri and others from Washington, D.C. to meet in Qatar with Taliban leader Mullah Wakil Ahmed Muttawakil. The regime that was protecting bin Laden from U.S. intelligence operations wanted Rohrabacher to help increase U.S. aid to it, at the time already more than $100 million annually. Rohrabacher emerged from those meetings to tell Middle East news media that the meeting had been “frank and open” and that the Taliban leaders were “thoughtful and inquisitive” as well as “flexible.”

Your editrix -- ME! -- knows Dana Rohrabacher personally, and has witnessed, with her eyeballs, when Dana Rohrabacher, who used to regale her with tales of personally stemming the tide of Communism in the '60s and '70s in Prague and Vietnam, was so drunk he fell off his barstool and slid all the way to the floor.

Dana Rohrabacher was too drunk to sit.

Yeah, give him Sec State, the world is amazing.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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