209 Comments

Rudy Guiliani libelz!

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When Mike's gone, I get all verklempt.

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They're still reeling from Rancid Pubis.

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I have a friend who uses gravity as a swear word.

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I endorse playing Dark Souls PAST three in the morning.

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As Dean Martin once said, you're never too drunk as long as you can lay on the floor without holding on.

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You can go as far as your desires will take you.Anyone can grow up to be President. In fact we see that you can not grow up AND be President.

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Murphy's Law: Challenge Accepted.

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Not a good idea with a baby. Even worse when you... let's say, accidentally piss off the Giant Blacksmith and the only way to absolution involves a coitus-ton of souls and going through Shitcock and Fuckbag (more commonly known as Dragonslayer Ornstein and Executioner Smough).

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Alcohol makes people stupid.

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From your description I'm not sure what's worse.... babbys can get pretty bloody evil.

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Dana Rohrabacher is the anti-neocon peace candidate for Sec of State. Don't be misinformed by propaganda blogs.

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I only need a grandmother and a plastic gate to handle Hardly Jr., whereas Fuckface and Shitbreath force me to summon Solaire. They're the only boss fight where I need to summon someone.

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Crap, I even fucked up my own line. I generally call him "Angry Ned Flanders." And I never get credit for anything anyways...

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Enjoy your new ambassadorship to China! I'm sure we'll be able to raise the ransom money.

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She doesn't have a private email server, I should hope?

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