Paul Pelosi Attacker Wanted To Hurt Hunter Biden, Tom Hanks, And Queer Theory Professor. Motive Very Mystery!

David DePape, the unhinged lunatic who busted up in the Pelosis' house and beat 82-year-old Paul Pelosi with a hammer because his intended target 82-year-old Nancy Pelosi was not available, went to court yesterday. Dude has been talking from the beginning, and confessing. We already knew he wanted to "break her kneecaps" as an example to the other Democratic congressmen. He apparently had others on his list, but we didn't know exactly who.

We knew things he loved included Donald Trump, QAnon, Kanye, Russian stuff and white power stuff. He hates Jewish people, trans people, women, Black Lives Matter, and more. (Pretty typical profile these days in MAGA America.)

We also knew that literally every Republican conspiracy theory about the attack wasn't true, that this weird young man and old Paul Pelosi are not secret gay lovers, that he had not been invited to the Pelosi house for Netflix 'n' grooming, that it was not a false flag to make DePape LOOK LIKE a would-be January 6 terrorist who couldn't afford bus fare to January 6, and all the rest of whatever they said.

Oh, and lest we forget, we also know that extreme rhetoric on both sides did not attack Paul Pelosi. One entire side of extreme rhetoric didn't even show up at the Pelosi manse that night.

It was shocking, but it appeared Republicans' assessments of the attack weren't quite right.

Tucker Cannot Believe Berkeley Hippies These Days, Hurting Poor Paul Pelosi With Hammers

Nancy Pelosi's Husband Paul Will Be Fine After G*ddamn F*cking HAMMER Attack, Fox News Will Not

But about that court appearance. We know even more now about who was on his list. Let's have a look!

He wanted to attack Hunter Biden.

He wanted to attack Tom Hanks.

He wanted to attack Gavin Newsom.

He wanted to attack Gayle Rubin, who as the New York Post explains is "a University of Michigan professor who writes on queer theory, sex and gender."

You know, the targets you might be mad at if you consumed a lot of rightwing media and rightwing message boards. With the exception of Tom Hanks, about whom the conspiracy theories are uniquely QAnon, it reads like the Two Minutes Hate from any Fox News monologue.

(By the way, the New York Post goes to great pains not to connect any of the dots as to what might have been motivating the attacker. "DePape’s choice of targets and reasoning was unclear, beyond a general dislike of Democratic Party politicians and left-leaning figures," they type with a straight face. You betcha!)

These things were testified to by San Francisco Police Sgt. Carla Hurley, who said DePape confessed to them after his arrest. She also played video of his interview:

“There is evil in Washington. It’s this f–king record-breaking crime spree!” DePape said in the video. “The Democratic Party was for the past four years — This was f–king insane … So not only were they spying … they were spying, covering it up … They go from one crime to another crime, it’s the whole f–king 4 years.”

Add some all caps to that and deteriorate the grammar and what does it remind you of?

“I explained to him — I have other targets,” DePape said on the video. “I can’t be stopped. If you are willing to stop me, I’m not going to be stopped here.”

Spoiler, he was stopped, and he lived to face the charges.

Seriously, though: Hunter Biden, Gavin Newsom, Tom Hanks, some 73-year-old queer theory professor, where could he have gotten these names, what could it beeeeeeeeee?

Too many mysteries for this early in the morning, we must leave you to your uninformed speculations.

[New York Post]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!

And once that doesn't exist, I'm also giving things a go at the Mastodon ( and at Post!

Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc