217 Comments
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Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

A college professor got a speaking gig from some hedge fund managers about future tech. It wasn't his field, but the fee was more than he'd ever gotten before.

And what did these hedge fund managers want to know about future tech? When the Collapse came (which they were all convinced was inevitable), and money was worthless, how were they supposed to motivate their security teams to protect them?

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

They do this every single time. These guys envision going out in a blaze of glory for the cause, forever venerated as a faithful martyr, and they're always immediately dismissed as crisis actors by the very people they're trying to impress.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

He better pray they don't put him on the Group W Bench.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

I have this list of things not worth shooting anyone over. You'd be amazed.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

He's Canadian. He just isn't fluent in Murican.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Hogeyegrex wins it. Announcing a series of digital Trump Trading Cards showing important moments in his life, each only $99.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

We were just trying to tweak his 5G to improve his gaming experience.

simpledinosaur's avatar

Sounds very MAGA to me. Except, oddly enough, he uses the term "Democratic" correctly. He doesn't say "Democrat Party" in that petulant, childish "I can be stoopid anytime I like and you can't STOP me!!!" manner that those hopeless morons generally observe.

simpledinosaur's avatar

Yes. Talking about these guys presents a challenge. This man really does sound like he isn't even remotely in contact with anything real. But then, the stuff of his demented fantasies is pretty obviously drawn from right-wing "discourse" (if we want to gussy up that offal with such a respectable, philosophical-sounding term). At base, every piece of conspiracy-theory nonsense is approximately as weird as the stuff coming out of this guy's mouth: a bunch of disparate events (real or imagined) and personages all mixed up together into a bundle that promises horribly damaged people the feeling of godlike coherence.

M.E. Lawrence's avatar

Well, after all, he used to live Berkeley, until the citizenry kicked him out.

k55f's avatar

"Do what thou will, an it hurt none shall be the whole of the law." - Crowley

dieter heymann's avatar

To me he sounds as a person who has realized what a dismal failure in life he has been. He was going to take it out on all of his imagined torturers.