David Duke Says Hillary Clinton Wants Black Men To Kidnap You From Walmart
Looking quite relaxed, here's David Duke on vibes
On a recent episode of his radio show, avid Trump supporter David Duke and his co-host Jay Hess expressed some of their concerns about a Hillary Clinton presidency. Very serious concerns, of course, that she may want to genocide all the white people.
According to Duke and Hess, Clinton is a race traitor who does not care that white people are being "outbred," which is their primary fear as it relates to immigrants coming to America. For some reason, they think this is a thing normal human beings are concerned about, and not a totally bizarre fringe thing that it is actually super weird to be concerned about.
You see, these fellas are not just concerned that “this massive immigration is going to destroy the foundations of this country" (aka white people), but also that it will lead to crime and lawlessness because those darn brown people just don't know how to behave themselves and are always committing all the crime.
When a person goes to the store, they go to the mall, or they drive somewhere in their car and they break down, or they stop at a traffic light and they might get hijacked, nine times out of ten it’s not gonna be some white guy hijacking their car. It’s not gonna be a white guy kidnapping them at the Walmart, right? And, you know, taking their family and slaughtering them, or robbing them or raping the women. That’s just the reality of life in this country.
Is it though? I'm not gonna lie -- maybe I am a bit racist myself, but were I to hear that someone got abducted from a Walmart, I would actually immediately assume the perp was a white dude. Now, I was curious to know if Walmart abductions were a rampant crime of some sort and I was just not hep to the trend -- so I Googled! The first result was for an incident earlier this year in which a man did abduct a girl from Walmart before raping and murdering her. (YIKES!) And he was a white guy! There was also an incident where a man tried and failed to abduct a girl from a Dollar General. Also a white guy! So weird! In fact, I tried and tried and was totally unable to find any instance of a non-white person abducting anyone from Walmart. This just might be the whitest crime there is, after serial killing and insider trading!
So hey, I guess that is one thing to look forward to many years after Hillary Cinton's second term, when there aren't any white people anymore -- far fewer Walmart abductions.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse