David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company
This is definitely the saddest news of the day. No, the week. No, the century. Basically, it is the saddest thing ever. EVER.
NBC's David Gregory, best known for asking really great questions on "Meet the Press" and getting his objective journalist on by dancing with Karl Rove at the 2007 nerd prom, has been sacked. Ousted. Booted. Shit-canned.
This shocks us, of course, because it was not so long ago that NBC called in A Expert to figure out how to make Gregory not suck so hard. Let's have a good flashback laugh at that again, because it is still HI-larious:
Last year, the network undertook an unusual assessment of the 43-year-old journalist, commissioning a psychological consultant to interview his friends and even his wife. The idea, according to a network spokeswoman, Meghan Pianta, was “to get perspective and insight from people who know him best.”
For reasons we cannot possibly fathom, the psychological consultant was unable to make Gregory not suck. Perhaps said consultant will have better luck with Gregory's replacement Chuck Todd, though we are not holding our breaths.
Obviously, everyone at NBC has all the sads that Gregory is leaving. Especially Mrs. Alan Greenspan, who narrated a moving tribute to Gregory as if he had died or something, even though, as far as we can tell, he was simply invited to not be employed anymore on account of sucking at his job.
There is one person, though, who is even sadder than so-sad Andrea Mitchell. Poor, poor David Gregory. So poor:
Ousted “Meet the Press” anchor David Gregory was paid $4 million to leave NBC and signed a contract not to speak out against the network, sources told Page Six.
Raise your hand if you'd be willing to say things like this for $4 million:
“I leave NBC as I came — humbled and grateful. I love journalism, and serving as moderator of MTP was the highest honor there is,” he tweeted, adding, “I have great respect for my colleagues at NBC News and wish them all well. To the viewers, I say thank you.”
Let us pour one out for poor, poor, so very poor even with his $4 million David Gregory, and please share your fondest memories of him sucking in the comments.