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Have you heard?! Some pretty important folks in Washington, DC, will take a rare evening off from schmoozing each other and holding up the bar with the Ol' Wet One, John Boehner, and instead will spend their time looking over each other's shoulders to try and spot "Hollywood" people like Lindsay Lohan and the scary mob mom battleax from Real Housewives of New Jersey! This is an event those "in the know!" call the White House Club of America Gala and everyone loves it forever!


It doesn't often make any news as such per se and so forth, except for a little bit last year we guess maybe when it turned out President Smoove could take a chunk out of Donald Trump and Osama Bin Laden at the exact same time! Donald Trump was SO MAD you guys! And Osama Bin Laden was SO DEAD!

Wonkette editor Jim Newell has been to some of these, he claims, and fucker sold out to won the morning for Politico by telling them this:

“It depends on the year, but if you can just get down the guarded escalator to the hall of conference rooms, it’s fairly easy to hop between the various magazine preparties adjacent to one another, and they’re all pretty much the same. So to get down said escalator, then, you need a printout of a party invite. Don’t have one? Just write, ‘I AM BOB WOODWARD’ on a piece of paper and tell the bouncer that you have a smeary printer. Scream, ‘Bob Woodward doesn’t need this!’ if you face any trouble.”

You could still go read the rest of their site if you wanted. They have LOTS of stories on Jimmy Kimmell, and Lindsay Lohan, and Megs McCabe, just all kinds of important 411!

Here, to tide you over until the next tape comes out (you are not going are you? If so, why didn't you 'vite us?), is some hilarity from last year, mostly of Bama being a celebrity (and killing Bin Laden). You could also go back and watch the guy from SNL zing Bammerz with such charm for being a huge sellout, and also for not getting Bin Laden (whoops), or Donald Trump.

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Hillary Clinton spoke Monday at the Elly Awards in New York, and she had something to say about Donald Trump's vicious plan to see how many Hispanic Mexican babies he can hurt before Democrats cry uncle and fund his fucking wall. Here is some transcript and a video, lovingly provided by Daily Kos, and after that we have thoughts:

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In a normal news world, this would be huge news: Thanks to the Trump administration's hiring freeze, federal prisons are becoming chronically understaffed. It's saving the government a bit of money, so we can afford some big fats tax cuts for rich fuckwads, but there just might be a small downside, as a New York Times investigation found. Turns out that with correctional officers in short supply, federal prisons are burning out the staff they have, and often relying on staff like clerks, teachers, and medical staff to fill in for correctional officers on the units. It's all fun and games until someone gets mauled, huh?

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