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Let's keep shoveling out the comments queue -- as we'vementioned, we have a whole bunch of ... matter piling up in there, and we're going to have to work hard to clean this mess out. Today, we'll hear from some patriots who have had it with the Obama administration's craven support for our enemies in the United States Army, specifically one POW, Bowe Bergdahl. Obviously, say these Bergdullards, a POW should have been left with the Taliban instead of brought home, because this is America, and Fox News said his dad has a beard.


Most of these would-be commenters were moved to write by a single article, on Allen West's cunning discovery that a routine phrase in Arabic actually declared the White House to be sanctified Muslim ground, but their comments had very little to do with that article -- they just really needed to vent about this Bergdahl guy and the danger he poses to America. Take, for instance, the accurately self-named "CitizensRage," who did not care one whit for a comment that said "fuck West and all who support him." CitizensRage was true to his name:

Fuck us huh? Yeah we will see about that ass munch, you are about to take this to a whole other level by letting this deserting pig back into MY country, the country ME and others like me are about to take the fuck back. Have fun asswipe, because its gonna get ugly when WE win.

CitizensRage also railed about "Spicks" and had thoughts about other commenters' moms, such as "And so is your mom" and "In your mom's cunt." He seems nice. Wonder if he's got a bunker?

We also received rather a long note from "Patriot2016," which we won't reproduce in full; basically, it was a list of every anti-Bergdahl article on the web that Patriot2016 could find. Which was quite a few. Still, Patriot2016 had high hopes for their message, which doesn't sound at all like it was cut and pasted from a chain email:

Please share all of this widely. I realize this is a lot of information, but all of it is solid proof that treason has been committed at the highest level of this country...

And then the rest actually was a bunch of stuff copy-pasted from chain emails, including the remarkable suggestion that the forced feeding of prisoners in Gitmo proves that Barack Obama "sympathizes" with the Taliban because he didn't just let the hunger strikers die, as a more America-loving president presumably would do.

In addition, we heard from "Sue_M_F," whose pseudonym we aren't sure about -- is that from a woman named Sue, or that is that an imperative? Sue_M_F wanted to remind us of a basic principle of American foreign policy, because she never heard of Lt. Col. Oliver North:

We don't negotiate with terrorists...period. Don't you realize that every serviceman is now in danger of being kidnapped? There is a reason we don't trade in humans. It's called slavery.

We kind of love that, once she gets beyond the slogan and starts doing her own logic, Sue_M_F ends up at "prisoner exchanges are slavery," which will be news to John McCain. But Sue_M_F had more to say! Try this word salad on for size!

You scream about tolerance all the time, yet you have no tolerance for anyone who doesn't think exactly as you do. Allen West devoted his life in protecting your right to speak freely - and you do. Allen West didn't hunt Muslims. He hunted Al Qaeda, the Taliban. In case you didn't know, they blew up the twin towers and killed thousands of innocent Americans. When there is a war going on, it is treason to walk away from your side and join the other side. That should make sense to you. I should just do what you do to us. You just don't like Allen West because he's a black conservative. You're a RACIST. And you actually are. Black people are fine with you unless they are conservatives and suddenly, they're a race inferior to you. Bob Bergdahl didn't just speak Arabic; he mentioned Allah. And at the very least, you should know you can't have any displays of religion on government property.

Stop being so racist against Allen West because the First Amendment won't let our children pray in school, and you are NOT TOLERANT AT ALL because you disagree with decent people and criticize them. As anyone knows, "tolerance" means just accepting what other people say without ever disagreeing, you racist haterz! BENGHAZI!!

Finally, after neither of those two messages appeared, Sue_M_F seems to have realized that we do not believe in free speach because we hate the Constitution:

You are all sick people. I love how my comments have to be approved. What? You don't allow anyone who doesn't think like you do? That doesn't sound like tolerance at all. Liberals are masters of hypocrisy. I don't want to post on this site anyway; it gives me a headache. If you can't see that since Obama has been president, the middle class id disappearing. He's been caught in lie after lie. You would think you would want to know what happened in Benghazi! You get all righteous about bringing this soldier home, but you see no problem with leaving an ambassador to be tortured and killed. You don't see a problem with 3 other Americans killed while trying to protect and save him. Like I said, hypocrisy. I still love you even if you are so uninformed. I used to be a liberal -- yes! But then I started to do my own research. I noticed I wasn't getting the whole story on the news. Liberals used to be anti-government. Now they ARE the government! And what a big, bloated government it is now.

We feel right awful about not inviting her to be a permanent member of our little community, we really do.

We'll also throw in a couple of notes on another topic near and dear to the ugly vile little snark mob that is the Wonkeratti: Weed. We received one of those mysterious comments on a story from months ago, from "Ajd4," who did not care for the tone of our January 2 article about legal pot in Colorado, and would just like to let us know that we have no call to be hating on stoners like a bunch of narcs, which is apparently what we are, a bunch of damn narcs:

I have smoked for twenty years, still do, but I have not wasted my life and I am not an exception. I am not going to go into "life achievements" or "great things" that I have done to prove my life is not in ruins because it doesn't matter. You are entitled to your opinion about how marijuana ruined your life, but why do you not want me to smoke if I am a happy and productive member of society despite my usage of marijuana?

Excellent points, there, man. We have really got to stop being so uptight and be more accepting of weed on this blog, we really do. Also, Dave wants you to know he is not here.

On a similar topic but in a significantly more manic vein -- possibly mainlining speed into the femoral artery -- we have this note from "caliboss" in celebration of the House's recent mildly-sensible vote prohibiting the DEA from arresting prescription-holding users of medical marijuana in states that have legalized medicinal pot (wink-wink). It's almost as if the Freak Bros. had set up an IntenseDebate account. We'd totally watch a movie about "caliboss" and "Ajd4" driving a van made of pot across the border, man.

the greatest plant in the universe is almost free, LET FREEDOM RING! 13 for every 1 republican that voted for this, 3.5 voted against 1000s of my friends and family have grown 30-99 plants for 20 years, thanks for keeping prices high and NORCAL wealthy...#1 crop in cali = $15 Billion Untaxed... "any doctor against marijuana is a doctor of death" - cali secret 420 from 0 states to half the country, from low 20% approval to almost 70%, cali runs this planet by 2 decades, time to tie marijuana to the 2014, 2016 elections, out with the old, in with the new 20 years behind us southern states, sad and scary....nobody denies freedoms like the south, nobody…the top ten incarcerators on the planet are southern states and more blacks are in prison then were slaves before the civil war...even if marijuana reforms did pass the republiCANTS in charge would deny you all your freedoms, centuries of practice...no matter though, we never planned on getting your backwards brethren from day one, half the country already but not one southern state, lol...not 1….the new generations are taking over in the south and they are nothing like their freedom denying parents, let’s ride… Deaths by Alcohol: Millions Deaths by Tobacco: Millions Deaths by Prescription Drugs: Quadrupled in last decade Deaths by Guns: Millions Deaths by the food we are fed: Millions Deaths by Marijuana: 0, ever...they are killing my American family while denying freedom love and freedom forever AMERICA'S WAR ON DRUGS IS A WAR ON AMERICANS! 33

Why, yes. And let us just add, Dilute! Dilute! Eternal Father, Eternal One! Exceptions Eternally? ABSOLUTE NONE! Moral ABC All-One God-Faith! Dilute!

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to www.famoushotels.org.

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.



In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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