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Let's see what's burbled up to the top of the ol' comments queue lately. Helpful tip: You may want to put a little Vick's under each nostril like in the autopsy scene inSilence of the Lambs. Ready? We're going in.


Our piece on the idiot vegan lady who went to jail for endangering her 12-day-old baby's life when she refused to take the seriously dehydrated infant to a hospital (she feared the precious babby would be exposed to animal products there) drew quite a few angry notes, and a flood of VERY angry comments on the Facebook, too! We learned something very valuable: Vegans are a mass of seething rage, ready to strike back at anyone who mocks vegans. They might be pissier than gun fondlers, even! From the Facebook, we got this:

excuse the fuck out of me but what in the ever loving hell are you blithering about???? So the doc gave her "medicine" for a dehydrated baby? and she gave that child commercial made soy formula instead of the "medicine"? Are you even serious right now? Parents DO have the right to feed their babies as they see fit and should not be forced into giving babies some "medicine" unless THEY feel it necessary! Since when it actually feeding a child a product that was made to feed a nourish a child called neglect? This is seriously one of the most fucked up articles you have ever published. SHAME ON YOU

Also, if you really want to piss people off, criticize someone's -- anyone's -- parenting choices. You will get replies justifying the perfectly reasonable choice to not take a sick kid to the hospital. We also got this on the Facebook:

One mentally disturbed woman medically neglects her child and you use that incident to paint all vegans as idiots. You're becoming the very thing you ridicule.

For that one, we had to reply: We're becoming vegans who won't take their sick kid to a hospital? Gonna need some evidence for that.

You might also be surprised (though you shouldn't be) by the sheer number of people who wanted to let us know that NOT ALL VEGANS NEGLECT THEIR KIDS, which was a very helpful thing to learn, as we had certainly made that very assertion several times nowhere in the article. We also learned that we are mindless tools of the advertising/processed foods industries, and that we personally have the gruesome deaths of babby animals on our greasy omnivore hands. Would-be commenter "shadeia" has obviously been boning up on PETA literature, informing us of

the horrors of rape racks, kicking the shit out of pregnant pigs, grinding up unwanted baby chicks alive.

We won't claim that we love factory farms, but we can say with all honesty that we're every bit as offended by overwrought writing as we are by animal abuse, because we lost our moral compass years ago.

A few complaints also took issue with the piece's headline because we used the term "A Idiot," which is just one of those deliberate errors we are fond of. A commenter with the minimalist nym "..." writes:

If you're going to call an entire group of people idiots, at least make sure the grammar in your title is correct.

Which is really unfair. Mostly, we called the child-neglecting lady A Idiot. The worst we said about vegans in general is that while it's easy to cook for vegetarians, vegans are simply not invited to Yr Editrix's house because they suck. That is a very different thing from calling them idiots, for Pig's sake.

Our piece on the Missouri schools that are paying a pretty hefty fee to train teachers to carry guns brought us a couple of notes from "nmgene" who would just like us to know that we are so dumb that we do not even belong on this here blog that we own and run:

All you loonie lefties need to go back to huffpost were you belong. Arming teachers will cut down on the attacks and will stop the attacks minutes before the police even get there. It is plain common sense that the lefties dont have!!!!

NMgene has a very interesting idea of how the Internet works, we guess. He also had this thoughtful analysis of why we will all come to rue the day that we ever chose not to buy a Magical Self-Protection Weapon:

And when the perps attack your house and rape and murder your wife and daughter you will be crying why did it take so long for the police to get there. You will wish you had a gun. Your all a bunch of dingbats. I have carried since 1971 and have never shot anyone but have stoipped crimes just because I was armed!!!!!

We believe every single word of that -- he has undoubtedly been a one-man crime-stoppin' machine.

And then there's this note from "jbernabei10" on Wednesday's story about Target's attack on freedom:

Well, at least we know where the next mass shooting will take place. In another gun-free zone. I think these anti-gunners should go suck a bag of dicks.

That's some pretty sharp analysis. As we know, no one carrying a gun has been shot to death in an open carry area, certainly not recently. It is UNPOSSIBLE.

Someone calling themselves "glock32," which suggests that they wish that they could be their very own gun, like in Videodrome, read our story about the NRA's attempt to call shootings something other than shootings and hit us with a big juicy Both-Sides-Do-It:

"NRA Will End Mass Shootings By Calling Them Something Else Instead" Yes, just like the left does, you know, Global warming is now climate change. gun control is now gun safety. terrorist attacks are now man made disasters.........

Wow, you have a big ellipsis. Overcompensating, maybe? Incidentally, it's probably worth noting that "climate change" was pushed by GOP euphemism master Frank Luntz because he believed -- correctly as it turns out -- that people would feel less urgency about the issue if it were framed that way. So it's not exactly a liberal attempt to cover anything up; it's good old Republican Luntzing It Up. Enjoy your Clear Skies and Healthy Forests, too.

And finally, a practical application of Poe's Law: We got this note from "Death2Putin" in response to Tuesday's story on Bill O'Reilly's flunky at the NOW convention:

Bil o'rielly dreives me intosuch a mad raje I'd like to insert sheafs of straw in his ass and ignite them and watch his buttocks sizzle as the straw burns out

What say you, Wonkers? Someone who is genuinely A Idiot, or a winger ("Death2Putin"???) trying to get us to run a comment threatening violence to poor Billo?

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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