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We don't know what it is about Bristol Palin, but that girl has got herself some fans. Or one fan who won't stop writing to us. Our short piece yesterday about thechild custody lawsuit filed by Manly Alaskan Sperm-Thrower Levi Johnston only drew about 70 comments, which is about right for a one-paragraph story. But it also filled our comments queue with 20 attempted comments from would-be Levi-n-Bristol defender "Lovefirst21," whom we'll assume is a new incarnation of "Livefree601," who previously defended Bristol as "literally the most amazing and strongest woman out there." Once more, she (? -- perhaps we should not assume?) wants us to know that some things are simply beyond the Palin, and should never be said:


Nice slander. Tripp Palin is an amazing little boy with the maturity of a kid twice his age. Way to go Bristol. Top notch! I've never seen a 4 yr old who is always happy and so adaptable.

Yes. Tripp Palin, a child who is known to Lovefirst21 primarily through the teevee, is a wunderkind, and the only reason he's not already in 3rd grade is that the government schools simply don't recognize his brilliance. Why is he not yet on a ballot or a payroll somewhere?

A couple of things are different from that previous pile of comments; this time around, there's no mention of Britol's allegedly "planning" her pregnancy along with all her high school pals, and there seems to be a new, more accepting view of Levi (all typos copied verbatim):

  • Took him long enough to mature and act like an adult.
  • Bristol did a great job while LEvi got his act together. SUch a good mother of a darling, mature boy.
  • We give him a break. Men often become adults slower. He DID finally get there though.

Still, we know who the real heroine of the tale is. For Lovefirst21, Bristol Palin is some sort of Bella-from-Twilight figure: a perfect radiant blank onto which she can project an attractive illusion of ideal mommyhood. Levi is no Edward, though; he'll forever be the man who can never be good enough for her. Because NO ONE loves Bristol Palin like Lovefirst 21:

  • Yet he's the one who started the nasty battle :/
  • Levi did exploit BOTH kids while Bristol was actually working. Thankful for good mothers.
  • Actually, he was desperate to marry Bristol as he was obsessed with her. He did once say that.
  • He was obsessed with her too. [And you would know, wouldn't you? -- Dok Zoom]
  • I feel sorry that his father ever made this part of his life public. There's a reason custody cases aren't public domain. The inherent bitterness in all of them don't deserve outsider opinion. But God bless Bristol Palin and her well-raised boy

Or maybe it's Tripp she's obsessed with?

  • He's the happiest of kids, living a normal life. School, activities. The only difficulty might come from a alienating stepmom who can't see her husband as the loser he was not too long ago.
  • LOL All jokes aside, the reality is, Bristol's son is a blessed, happy boy with a devoted mother and a father who's finally matured.
  • Libel. Get a life. Bristol is a remarkable mother raising a lovely boy who beams with love
  • Tripp is literally the most blessed child. Never without smiles and nurturing. These comments are just wrong.

Well, Thank You Very Much, Lovefirst21. You have made us feel bad for Bristol Palin, who we hope never has any reason to know that she has a fan/stalker of your ilk. Creeeeeeepy. We will try an IP ban and see if this person shows up again.

Our story yesterday on the jerk who bravely followed up Friday's shootings at LAX by showing the world that he likes walking around Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport with an assault rifle -- because he can, fuckers -- was not appreciated at a gun-fondling site (not gonna name or link, because fuck 'em), where Yr Editrix came in for some serious wingnut criticism because she used bad words, was not ladylike, looks like a slut (but an ugly slut), and most importantly, failed to recognize that carrying a semiautomatic rifle in a crowded airport just makes good sense, as the only way that future massacres can be prevented is for everyone to be ready to responsibly spray lead at a moment's notice. (Also, too, Rebecca, what were you thinking when you jumped into the comments over there? Do not play in the slimepit, ever!) We were not surprised, then, to find some 30 comments waiting for us in the queue. We were surprised to see that 20 of them were fro0m a Bristol Palin fan, and only 3 were from gun-fondlers, viz:

  • Um, so you're saying they weren't breaking the law, right?
  • Tiny brains with negative IQ spew the most hate and lies, oh wait, perfect description of all progressives!

and

  • That's awesome! Not only would I get a free assault gun out of it, but I would then know who to blow and talk about the finer points of Lenin's political philosophy with afterwards. How do we make this happen?!?!?!?

We guess they told us! We were tempted to link to the offending post, but really, #blogwar with these cretins would just be tiresome. You already know what they're going to say about freedumb, their awesome magic shooting skills that are the only thing standing between them and the ravening criminal hordes (yes, one really did fantasize that he would've taken out the LAX shooter if he'd only been on hand), and the Holy Second Amendment. Let's forget them, better still.

Our story on Michelle Obama and her dangerous recognition that The Hindus have holidays, even here in America, made "Abortion.Prophecy. wordpress.com" -- who is apparently both a person and a blog -- very very sad:

Hmmm... Reminds me of how King Solomon fell...opening the doors and giving respect to other gods. We are a Christian nation.

Yep. Solomon's downfall was all about letting all those non-Christians into ancient Israel.

Our story about the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals' reinstatement of Texas's terrible abortion restrictions inspired "floydhowardjr" to suggest a new way to approach the issue:

The lengths to which people will go to kill defenseless babies in the womb are criminal, terroristic and cowardly. Everyone who does so should face an advocate for the baby who will physically fight to stop the crime. 50 million babies killed in their mother’s wombs in America. The slaughter of the innocents. There’s a payday someday!

If we're reading that correctly, Floyd thinks that anyone wanting an abortion should have to first win a fight with a fetus advocate. We aren't sure if this would be a fistfight, a duel or perhaps an Amok Time-style battle to the death. We're sort of hoping it's the last option, if only for the musical score:

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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