Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Betraying Ur Native Soil!
Programming Note: We hear that there's a Harvard-educated common man talking in front of the Senate in a not-quite filibuster right now, and we promise we'll have a post about it tomorrow unless you're lucky and a rogue asteroid ends life on Earth overnight.
Longtime Wonkaroos will be astonished to learn that Some People Just Can't Let Things Go. Those people being, of course, fans of the League of the South, who are still upset that Yr Wonkette is so darn mean to Everyone in the South who is them. We finally posted an accurate photo of one of their dumb marches, but some of them are still not happy, viz "coyote 111," who had to let us know that despite the presence of only seven people in the photo, we done goofed nonetheless:
Well as one of the men in the picture its alot more fun being a doer then a viewer! as y'all sit there and show much hate for the southland i will say a few things. frist there were over 50 folks there and yes women as well. two city council folks came and one was the frist black women she said thanks for standing up for the white and black southerns when the mayor has sold his people out to cheep labor. As a small business owner i can tell y'all how new age diversity only makes problems.
We have no idea what "new age diversity" is supposed to be; perhaps it has something to do with white and black southerns joining together to protect the land they love from crystal-waving shamans who want to hang dreamcatchers in the front of the bus.
A Wonkette commenter's provocative question, "Where's General Sherman when you need him?" was definitely NOT COOL, says coyote111:
also to that vecchiojohn werdo i woulden't mind kicken shermans ass for hearting women and childern and setting there homes on fire. we live in an age of cowards and werdos maby y'all try being men and loyal to ur native soil!
Apparently his native soil is all that coyote111 has left, having largely abandoned his native language.
Today's post on Tennessee parents who are Very Displeased by their darlings having to learn about Islam in a World Cultures class's unit on religion did not sit well with "DrCasbahJazz," who would just like us to know that Tennessee Is! Not! Full! Of! Hicks!
I understand that we're all having a jolly yockfest here about this story taking place in Tennessee, where every single resident is an ignorant fundamentalist Christian, for there is surely no other kind. THAT SAID, it is my sad duty to inform you all that there are, in fact, people in this state (yes, I live in Nashville; I am a stakeholder in this argument) who are politically/culturally enlightened, and have been for years. These people in Hendersonville, obviously, are less enlightened, but that does not mean we are all so dim. Furthermore, I assure you that there are idiots in all fifty states--even the one *you* live in.
We are willing to grant DrCasbahJazz a bit of indulgence as a newcomer, and ask that he/she take note of the fact that plenty of the people griping about the dipshit parents of Hendersonville are themselves Tennesseans or another flavor of Southerners. As
an inmate a resident of Idaho, Yr Doktor Zoom knows all too well that special joy of being surrounded by rightwing loonies. We did have to raise an eyebrow at DrCasbahJazz's second comment, which seems to belabor the point:
You could also ask Robert Penn Warren, former Poet Laureate of the United States, who was educated at Vanderbilt University in Nashville. You could also ask the astronomy students at TSU who discovered a new planet, or the many doctors who graduated from Meharry, or the physicists at UT who went on to work at Oak Ridge (which, granted, does not have a stellar track record in terms of beneficial contributions to humanity) and help discover new elements. But you likely won't, because to do so would compromise your smugness.
Pearls clutched, couch fainted upon. Got it. And Idaho has lovely rivers and the oldest synagogue west of the Mississippi. Are you sure you wouldn't be happier at Daily Kos?
And on a more serious note, let's summarize DrCasbahJazz's concern, as a parent of a child with intellectual disabilities, that other commenters are descending to the level of the unenlightened by using the word "fucktard." We'll confess to being of two minds about that particular epithet. Yes, its second syllable invokes a word that is definitely more offensive than its first. On the other hand, it is very definitely a step removed from that word, and as swearing goes, a fairly creative portmanteau. We're no longer as amused by it as we were when it first arose sometime in the 1990s, but we wouldn't say it violates The Rules. Wonketariate, discuss amongst yourselves.
We also got a peculiar comment from "bigbeari80," who seems to think our post about the wingnut truckers who will shut down America means that we don't like truckers or trucks or interstate commerce:
Do you like your grocery shelves stocked when you go shopping? Do you like putting gas in your car? Do you like going to the ATM and withdrawing cash from it? Do you like going to the mall and buying new clothes, shoes, electrical items, and personal stuff? Or how about the very computer you're now staring at? Then thank a trucker because there's not a single item in your house nor is their any parcel of food you've ever swallowed that didn't move by truck that is driven by a trucker who hasn't seen home in weeks, sometimes months.
Not sure where we said we dreamed of a World Without Zinc, but your concern is noted, 10-4, catch you on the flip-flop, good buddy.
And finally, from "rossban," a takedown of Michelle Obama and her blatant pro-water agenda:
People, this is not a political event, nor is it a health event. Please see it for exactly what it is. It's a very cleverly marketing marketing rollout of the "drink up" campaign to get you, 300 million Americans, to buy more bottled water. Nothing more. Nothing less. The proof is in the sponsorship - and in exactly what our FLOTUS says - and specifically in what she has been cleverly coached NOT to say (i.e., buy more bottled water instead of bottled soda) but which is what most of you are going to do. The beauty is that this little symbol which is all over the background of the campaign pictures, is going to cost YOU (yes you) two cents per bottle! I wish *I* came up with a clever marketing campaign to make people buy more bottled water than they feel like drinking, and then, I get the government to pay for the rollout - and - best of all - the people foot the bill every time they by my bottled water. It's sheer genius people! You have to congratulate the sponsors.
Michelle Obama: just a pawn of Big Water...
Which travels by truck. It all fits together, sheeple!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.