It's been a little while since we've skimmed the foam off the top of the waste lagoon that is our Comments Queue, and so let's see what's bubbled to the top. Please make sure you're wearing OSHA-compliant eye and cerebral cortex protection.

Our first missive comes from "crzyladycarole," and let us simply point out that she said it, not us. Crzyladycarole was rather displeased with a piece from May 2013 about how Ronald Reagan ruined the University of California system during his time as governor of that state. But as far as we can tell, crzyladycarole is mostly just writing in response to the headline, which says a rude thing about St. Ron: "In Case You Forgot Ronald Reagan Was A Dick." There's not the least hint in her comment that she's even aware that the piece is about his time as governor:

Apparently either most of you are too young to know Ronald Regan or you just like to reply to ignorance because, most of what was written is not true. Ronald Regan was one of the only politicians that actually worked for the people. He listened to the people and lived his life, for the most part just like the rest of us did, not like a socialite. Do some research and read the reviews of most of ther people, Democrates & Republicans alike liked the way he did things and other than a few of his off the wall children, there was no embaressing stuff written about him.

Crzyladycarole isn't too clear about what was "untrue" in the article. Perhaps Reagan didn't really slash the budgets for California's universities? Or maybe just wishes we had a greater appreciation of Donald Regan? Still, we young folk who as "democrates" had the chance to vote twice against the Gipper are grateful for the reminder that no one has ever written anything embaressing about Ronald the Wise. Except us, apparently.

We also heard from "pkleeb" -- isn't that a sound effect from the Spider-Man comics? -- who didn't care for our recent piece about Saks Fifth Avenue discriminating against transgendered folks. Or anything else we've ever published in the history of ever. We'll confess that, as complaints go, it's a tad nonspecific:

I'd find your articles more interesting to read if they didn't appear, from their wording and tone, to be aimed at an audience of snarky middle schoolers. Every Wonkette article I've ever read (I only come here when I'm linked from elsewhere) makes me feel that the author assumes I'm either stupid or semi-literate.

We don't really know what to say in reply, except to ask pkleeb for permission to use that in our advertising.

A rather more specific complaint from "Rory" in response to a line in our first article on the terrorist attack on the offices of Charlie Hebdo in Paris. Rory just wanted to make sue we understood our place in the comedy ecosphere:

"Charlie Hebdo sounds a bit like a French version of Wonkette." You call one of the two great French satirical magazines a French version of your blog? How fucking self-obsessed are you? This isn't about you, you know. Sickening and pathetic. You must be a yank.

Yr Wonkette regrets the comparison, especially now that we've learned that Charlie Hebdo has neither recipes nor ponies. Then again, if everybody else gets to say "Je suis Charlie," we don't see why Charlie shouldn't say "Nous sommes Wonkette." Perhaps they're just not into the buttsechs.

Our piece on the GOP's exciting new "dynamic scoring," which mandates that the Congressional Budget Office include wishful thinking in all calculations involving tax cuts, inspired these thoughts from "Pteromandias," who seems to have some pretty unusual ideas about who gets hired to do infrastructure construction in this century:

Fascinating. So the same process that creates money and wealth by taking millions of unemployed people with no experience in road- and bridge-building, and putting them to work fixing our "crumbling roads and bridges" and laying millions more miles of needless asphalt spending untold billions of dollars in some convoluted process, somehow fails to work when that money is injected directly into the economy via a tax cut? So when a guy in a hard hat dirty from laying miles of virtuous road puts a dollar in someone else's hand the second he gets it, and that person spends it as soon as he gets it, it sets us down a path to wealth and prosperity. But simply leaving that dollar in the economy by not taxing it in the first place without shuttling it through layers and layers of middlemen and bureaucrats with salaries? It's that kind of crazy talk that causes depressions and earthquakes.

Leaving aside the usual supply-side nonsense and the notion that our roads and bridges are just fine as they are, no problems at all, we were ourselves fascinated by Pteromandias's apparent belief that road construction in 2015 is handled by the WPA, which was no longer a going concern by 1943. But yes, dear, money that's being spent actually does result in economic growth, even if you're not a dirty man in a hardhat.

And finally, we received a much-delayed reply to a March 2014 piece in which Pat Boone fretted that he and other conservatives have been targeted by Barack Obama for destruction through the IRS and its evil persecution of political groups that want tax exemptions. "dennisrichardson30," who we are guessing is a 45-year-old named Wally, had some thoughts on all this, and they went well beyond the question of whether Pat Boone and his fellow Friends of Abe would get 501(c)(3) tax status:

It will be the end of liberalism, the dream of a Utopian communist state in American. The Global Fascists will fall and the socialist / communist dream will fall with them. I suspect death by starvation will occur the most often here in America, in Europe and around the world. Many people who are not sufficiently knowledgeable about what will happen soon will die. How can such people lay blame upon anyone but themselves. You do not expect me to cry for you, do you? Pat Boone will survive, you will not.

That's some pretty apocalyptic stuff about a little article that made fun of a semi-washed-up teen idol who's feeling butthurt about taxes. Get your survival seeds now, kids, while Glenn Beck is still selling them!

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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