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Oh, dear, it's been a couple of weeks since we last did one of these features, and the comments queue may be spawning new forms of matter, like the sink full of unwashed dishes in Withnail and I. Let's see what's been stewing, shall we? Or who's been stewing over what, more accurately.


Our Wednesday "Morning Maddow" piece about the dubious status of the RNC's planned trip to Israel with the fun religious bigots of the American Family Association didn't sit well with "ReasonableMind1," who practically logicked us all to pieces:

This is the saddest blog I've ever seen. What useless information. An absolute joke. Just like Maddow. Rachel Maddow is about to be fired according to reliable, inside sources because MSNBC is bankrupt thanks to her awful, mindless drivel. Her information is completely wrong and nobody questions it. They all go along with it just like lemmings. W Start thinking for yourselves and THINK about what Maddow's agenda is. THINK about what makes sense!! THINK about our country and how far down it's gone. What are you listening to Maddow for?? What's your purpose in life?? I hope to God it's more than this small, sick, inane little blog. This is the first time I've ever stumbled upon it and you can be sure i'll never be back. People REALLY think like this??? Dear GOD. What an absolute tragedy.

We were very impressed by this comment, especially the insider information that reliable inside sources predict that Maddow's about to be fired. Which is strange, because while we're definitely aware that MSNBC is in ratings trouble, most of the talk is about the possible axing of Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, and maybe Chris Hayes. But maybe the smart money is on MSNBC killing off their flagship news show -- it could happen, since as ReasonableMind1 notes, Rachel Maddow is actually completely wrong about everything, although at the very same time no one questions it. What is she wrong about? Everything, which is why Reasonable (mind if we just use your first name?) didn't see any need to provide a single example. Actually, that's not quite true -- in a later attempt at commenting, Reasonable finally thought of one:

That fact is wrong. Maddow is queen (or..king...?) of getting the facts so wrong. She's about to be fired - catch her while you can. She is responsible for MSNBC's demise (good riddance). She got the fact wrong that Bryan Fischer had been fired and now it's going to come back to bite her. Poor Rachel. Bye bye.

Haw haw, she is a DUDE! And she was completely wrong about Bryan Fischer being fired, except for the part where Bryan Fischer actually was fired from his position as "director of issues analysis" for the American Family Association. Even the AFA's president, Tim Wildmon, told Maddow, "Bryan Fischer is just a talk show host," which sounds like he lost that "director of issues analysis" job, no? For his part, Fischer insists he left the position voluntarily so he could be free to say anything he wants on his dumb radio show without being called the AFA's spokesman. As far as we can tell, the only people who think Fischer wasn't fired are Bryan Fischer and ReasonableMind1. Man, Rachel Maddow has just lost all credibility, hasn't she?

Reasonable also complained after his comment wasn't immediately approved:

  • I guess the Wonkette hates me. She's too scared to let my comments post. Ha! True freedom. What hypocrites.
  • This blog doesn't allow comments other than what those who are brainwashed post to support the blogs agenda and ideology. Wonkette is a control freak.

Poor oppressed genius. We are such tyrants -- and to think, we could have a comments section just FULL of folks like ReasonableMind1 -- our loss!

Our coverage of the ongoing nationwide measles clusterfuck and the strange affection of the hyperlibertarian wing of the GOP for anti-vaxxers has drawn only one bit of raving, from "onlycretinsleft," who clearly knows as much about science as they do about irony:

right you all are just fools first the pharma companies are messing with stuff they don't understand and you are their guinea pig. Second you cant sue if you are injured by a vaccine the government is the only one who may pay you. 3rd if vaccines worked then only the unvaccinated could even get sick so why does anyone care?? more tax payer money to big pharma that's why!

We like that "messing with stuff they don't understand," as if vaccine makers were conducting arcane experiments on the undead in a spooky old castle during a lightning storm (which they are, of course, but it's actually just a tiny fraction of their research budget). As to why anyone would care that unvaccinated people get sick, we suppose maybe it's a matter of concern that that category includes babies, people with immune disorders, and so on -- and also, because we're stupid liberals, yeah, we give a shit about mass epidemics killing children whose parents are idiots. Still, as we say, we're surprise we haven't heard from more anti-vaxxers; looks like Facebook is their preferred communication channel. Also, "onlycretinsleft," have we got a book for you!

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We received a challenge from "johncasor" after we pointed out that there's little evidence to suggest that the California measles outbreak is not the result of swarms of illegal immigrants flooding across the border (the way they do, all swarmy and floodlike; please add whatever analogies to rats or cockroaches you'd like). Johncasor doubted we'd have the integrity to let anyone speak TRVTH on this liberal mommyblog, recipe hub, and den of Ponies:

Let's see if you libs have the courage to allow alternative viewpoints instead of censorship. The entire article above is filled with lies. 10 seconds of research shows that many countries south of the border have infection rates much higher than the US. Besides, a great deal of our immigration comes from nations that are not from Central or South America. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Measles#mediaviewer/... that measles infections rates. The outbreak today is worse because of American's that don't have their kids immunized...but that doesn't mean that infected immigrants hasn't been the primal cause. Even the CDC says that most cases were imported, or "related to importation." The following quotes straight from the CDC website: "Measles 1993-2009 Endemic transmission interrupted Record low annual total in 2004 (37 total cases) Many cases among adults Most cases imported or linked to importation"

As proof of high infection rates south of the border, he links to a Wikipedia chart about immunization rates, not infection rates. However, the real problem seems to be with johncasor's ability to read: We never said that measles outbreaks were unrelated to outbreaks that started elsewhere -- in fact, we noted that the CDC said that a major outbreak in 2014 originated in the Philippines -- and we'd add that that outbreak was spread to the U.S. by perfectly legal travelers, both American and Filipino, and spread "primarily among unvaccinated Amish communities in Ohio." Our point was not that measles cases didn't ever have a foreign origin. Our point was that unvaccinated Americans are doing a terrific job of spreading the disease without having to conjure up an imaginary army of infected illegal immigrants who are dropping viral loads all over our southern border (along with all those Muslim prayer rugs and Korans).

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Our recent piece on Briston Palin's impassioned plea for a Constitutional Convention that would fix all the problems in America drew several angry replies from people who apparently know politics a lot gooder than we do. From "MosinTom" we received this succinct observation:

What's lost on all the nitwits bashing Bristol is the fact that she, not them, understands the damage that too much government has and will do to America.

Or at least her ghostwriter understands that. Bristol's invocation of the IRS's Crimes against Humanity inspired this comment from "yourecraaazy," who like the Palin family, has a unique understanding of the Constitution:

So if there is no "problem" at the irs then why did Lerner resign and plead the 5th amendment in front of congress? For all of the scholars here that is intended to prevent self incriminating. That means a CRIME

Well, duh, everyone knows that, which is why rightwingers have shunned admitted criminal Oliver North, who invoked his Fifth Amendment rights over and over again. And right there in the text of the Fifth Amendment is the reminder that anyone who invokes it has admitted guilt (it's in the special copy that you get with your subscription to the Palin Channel).

We received a very sad note from "JFKlover," who loved JFK but can't stand Democrats now:

Don't know what happened to my democratic party but it's filled with such hate now. It's used be full of smart, educated people who knew things, now just cut and paste idiots who are filled with hate and racism; It's truly a shame.

Please, America, won't you keep JFK's dream alive? Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that we will once again KNOW THINGS.

On other Palin Topics, we heard from "Merlin1246" in response to Sarah's classy and SMRT defense of posing with that classy "Fuc You Michael Moore" sign. We apparently are a pretty crude bunch compared to the always classy Sister Sarah:

The comments here are uglier and more hateful than anything Palin has EVER said. People like you frighten the rest of us.

That must be why they all own guns -- they're worried that people like us may accost them and say vile things about word salad and Wasillabillies.

And then we got a couple of notes, in response to the weekly Fartknocker Reports, from "Leslie Kaluzny," a real enthusiast! See if these insights don't just put to rest all your doubts about Sarah Palin's political savvy. First off there's this thoughtful analysis, prefaced by a fair warning that this is no ordinary commenter, but a True Believer:

WARNING: Palin Booster By now you realize that there is no where you can hide as Sarah will be there either in your dreams or on your screen! Listen, America was ready for an Obama and Obama us what we got! The thing with Palin -- she has innate Political Instints, second to non! As a Palin Booster I would like her to run as a Independent for 2016. She doesn't need the Republican Party! I think the 'little man' or 'rank & file' is there for the taking, Santorum proved it when he took on Mitt Romney during the last Republican go around! Running as a third option Palin could take a significant part of the Republican Base and reach out beyond this base! The 'rank & file' white, black and hispanic blocks are reachable if Palin's campaign is structured to reach out to them - after that it would be just a matter of turning on her formidable political skills! We should all be sacrificing lambs & doves for Palin to run as an independent so that we can spare ourselves the slumberfest that would be a Hillary/Warren verses Romney/Jeff Presidential Run! Oh God, please, please make American Politics FUN AGAIN!

We actually agree that it does seem nigh impossible to escape Sarah Palin -- she does seem rather omnipresent; the only question is why, dear god, why? But that part about Sarah's natural ability to reach out to black and Latino voters is just comedy gold. And for all the fuss about the kid standing on the dog, we had no idea that Sarah's people were down with actual animal sacrifice. We learn so much in this job. Also, if you haven't had your Palin Booster, make sure you're up to date on your shots -- or are you just another tool of Big Pharma?

Leslie was back the next week with another missive in reply to that week's Fartknocker:

It looks to me as Palin is going to run as an Independent! I don't have any connection to her campaign or insider knowledge but here is my reasoning: Palin doesn't need the Republicans for publicity -- she is a magnet that media whether conservative or socialistic can not obstain from -- comments for Articles on Palin whether Pro or Con more often than not hit thousands -- she seriously attracts readership! She has an Army of volunteers and donars that have been Marshalling for over a decade all she has to do is gallop her mighty stead fully armed across the line of advance (Alexander The Great stuff) and she switches on her campaign that simply! She knows that the 'Crony Capitalists' have sewen up the Republican Primaries Campaign -- she sees no advantage in competing on money in a campaign stacked against her -- she will save this money for her own campaign which she can start immediately while the Republicans go through their circus! She can mirror the Republican Primaries and use their coat tails to constantly keep her in the Public Eye -- reporters will seek her out for feedback on Republicans miscues, etc. She can profile the skills of her 'Washington Presidential Administration' which she has picked and introduced to America -- these will be accomplished players and will add sophistication and shine to her campaign! A different Palin will start to emerge as her campaign progresses and she starts looking more and more Presidential! A breakdown in the financial and/or economic climate will work in her favor! Of course this is all conjecture but don't you think based on her Instints that this is where it's going?

We're convinced -- Sarah Palin is full of Alexander the Great stuff, what with her mighty stead and her Instints. And someday we too will weep when she has no more words to lay waste to.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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